tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16876348684328823502024-03-18T02:16:49.353-07:00Lovin' the AlienThoughts on mothering a teenAlexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.comBlogger600125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-6868058621115045062016-06-12T04:42:00.000-07:002016-06-12T04:42:54.524-07:00Letting The Alien Go<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">In seven hours my daughter will finally graduate from high school.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Seven hours. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We're all going to be a little needy today. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Between now and then, I need to get her up (always a delightful experience). She needs to go to the stable to clean the trailer and tack she used at a big event yesterday (tremendous showing, she qualified for regional championships: happy girl, proud mama). </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">She needs to get home by 11:00 because I still need to touch up her manicure. She needs to be dressed and pressed — although the bright red gown can't actually be "pressed" because, apparently, it's made out of the material </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">so enthusiastically recommended to </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Dustin Hoffman in <i>The Graduate</i>: "One word: plastics." </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We all need to be at the high school by 1:00 so she can queue up for the processional and we can fight the other parents for the best seats in the gym.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">(I'm serious. Don't mess with me. I'm from New York and I <i>will</i> hurt you.) </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Last night, we spent more time than we expected covering her mortarboard in black rhinestones. Due to its aforementioned substrate ("One word: plastics."), the adhesive backing of the stones wouldn't ... well ... adhere. We tried "tacky glue" from the craft store and finally resorted to "liquid nails."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">She isn't exactly thrilled with the result. But, she's done.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Those two words ... "She's done." </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Twelve years of public school (not even including preschool, pre-kindergarten or kindergarten). 2,160 days of reading, writing and arithmetic. Countless hours of studying, papers, tests, field trips, science fairs and winter concerts. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And, somehow, in between all of that, she found the time to grow up from an adorable little thing in blonde pigtails, pink dresses and sparkly "Dorothy" shoes to the young woman who lives her own life, her own way, out of our house.<br /><br />And today, she's done.<br /><br />Why do they call graduation "Commencement" when it's really the end of something? </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It's a common question, and the most common answer is that it also marks the beginning of something new. "Real life."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Going further back, though, its roots can be traced to the Latin word "commensa," which means a common table for all. Upon completion of their studies and graduation, students were invited to dine with their instructors at a table on a raised platform at one end of the long tables where the students sat. They were now full-fledged members of the university and welcomed as equals of their faculty.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My daughter has been a full-fledged member of our family since the day she arrived. We may have helped her along the way, but she was ever her own person — sometimes alien but always remarkable. I admire her bravery in the face of 1,200 pound horses and 120 pound mean girls. I admire her resilience and her determination; her street smarts and her silliness.<br /><br />When I left for maternity leave so many moons ago, my boss's sweet wife asked me to express one thing I wished for my baby. Without a pause, I said "The capacity for joy." My wish came true; my daughter has a boundless capacity for joy. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">But, what I maybe didn't expect was that she has increased my own capacity for joy too. Exponentially.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Thank you, Madison Ava. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And thank you, gentle readers, for joining me on the journey. "Happy Graduation."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Let the commencement commence. </span></span><br /><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span>Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-52260744617910283132016-06-08T13:16:00.001-07:002016-06-08T13:40:43.362-07:00Living With The Alien<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I began <i>Lovin' the Alien</i> in March of 2011. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I'd made a living as a writer my entire adult life, and considered myself one as long as I could remember. Even though I knew a handful of professional bloggers through my day job as a marketer, I hadn't really thought about it much. Then two special people encouraged me. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">First, a high school classmate, an excellent writer and editor, asked me to review a movie for <a href="http://womensvoicesforchange.org/" target="_blank">Women's Voices for Change</a>. I've joked that the assignment "saved my life." It didn't really. But, I think it saved my voice. After 25 years of writing as IBM or Bank of America or Chevrolet or NYNEX, I'd forgotten what I sounded like. And, how much I love writing. I've contributed close to 200 stories since, and now have a weekly cultural column.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The second was the encouragement of a former client, another wonderful writer, who was living a bit of a fairy tale life in Monaco. We had reconnected via social media and were having fun emailing each other about the trials and tribulations of raising tweens. (<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Unbearable</span> Monegasque PTA mothers are shockingly similar to the ones here.) This friend had just started a blog to share her adventures and keep in touch with friends and family in the U.S. She talked me into setting up my own blog and was always one of my biggest fans.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The feedback to <i>Lovin' the Alien</i> was immediate and gratifying. (I definitely struck a chord or two or ... let's see ... 598 so far with other parents.) But, the response I got most often was this ... </span></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"OMG, what does your daughter think about it?"</span></span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I can't imagine that <i>Lovin' the Alien</i> would be on any of my daughter's "Top Ten" lists (unless it was maybe "The Top Ten things my mom has done to embarrass me"). In reality</span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">, she knows that I would never write about anything truly painful or humiliating. </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">She thought it was a little "AWK-WARD" at first; then started enjoying minor-league celebrity when some of her friends became readers. Once in a while, she'll express a teeny tiny bit of (dare I say it?) appreciation when I use a post to stand up against something like high school administration tyranny. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Mostly, she just ignores it.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I hope that someday, she'll look back at it and understand that — more than anything else — it's a love letter. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Being a mother, specifically <i>her</i> mother, has been the greatest chapter of my life. It has been at once joyful, heartbreaking, frustrating, fulfilling and very educational. My daughter has taught me about what really matters (and what doesn't so much).</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">She taught me that when you fall, you have to get back up. (She's an equestrienne; when she falls, she doesn't just get back up, she gets back up and back on a horse!)</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">She taught me about the immeasurable value of free time.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">She taught me that the world won't end if you leave a dirty dish on the counter or a bed unmade for a day or two (or forty).</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">She taught me an easier way to parallel park. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">She taught me about justice, about determination, about staying true to what you believe. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">She taught me how to close the background apps of my iPhone so my battery will last longer.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">She taught me to be braver than I thought I was. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">She taught me about the breadth and depth of love — boundless love, unconditional love, even, I'm sorry to say, unrequited love. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And, I have loved. I've loved every minute — well, all the minutes I can remember right now, at any rate<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">.<br /><br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thank you, my beautiful little alien</span></span>.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span>Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-836768459076050372016-06-06T13:40:00.000-07:002016-06-06T13:44:19.881-07:00The Myth Of The Family Meeting<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">With graduation less than a week away, I've been taking a lot of stock. (And Tylenol, actually; I've been taking a lot of Tylenol.) Eighteen and a half years of parenting behind me. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">For the record, that's the longest I've ever stayed at any job. </span></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">What did I do particularly well? What did I screw up?</span></span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Becoming a mother is the greatest act of faith we can undertake. It can also be a huge slap in the face. It rocks our inner vision and is at once a source of great pride and the most humbling experience in the world.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My husband and I were a little late to the game and we had already watched most of our closest friends deal with transitioning from being happy-go-lucky "DINKs" (dual-income, no kids) to sleep-deprived, car-pooling zombies. We weren't ready yet, but we were very self-satisfied. If and when we were ever parents, we assured ourselves, we wouldn't make this or that mistake. We would never raise our voices. Or let our offspring walk all over us. We would do everything perfectly.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As my favorite classics professor Dr. Zarker would have remonstrated, "Hubris, hubris, hubris!"</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Raised in the 1960s and 70s, I had a wonderful weekly example of perfect parenting: Carol and Mike Brady. Their six (count 'em, six) children were respectful and remarkably well-groomed. Their house was orderly; their dinners were on time.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And, Mr. and Mrs. Brady never lost their sh*t.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">If there was ever an issue in the Brady household, they simply had a family meeting in that tiny little room off the kitchen. Crisis averted.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Last week, I insisted on a family meeting in our house. I was feeling stressed over our packed schedule of school events (white water rafting, graduation rehearsal, awards banquet and the big day itself), out of town visitors, horse shows, theatre tickets, work deadlines, business trips, and more. And, yes, I was ready to lose my sh*t.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Lest you think I'm just an anxious person (I am, but that's beside the point), let me give you a couple of examples ... </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So far, I'd rescheduled my daughter's tuberculosis test three times. (No, she doesn't have tuberculosis. Well, I assume she doesn't have tuberculosis. But, she has to have the test for college.) I can practically hear the receptionist cringing every time I call the doctor's office. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Apparently, my daughter needs polypropylene long underwear for the rafting trip. This is not something I had on hand (or had time to run to the mall for), so we ended up using my sister-in-law's Amazon Prime account to get it here in two days.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We gave my husband a flying lesson for his recent birthday. But, finding a day when all three of us can take a few hours to drive up to New Hampshire and watch him fly a Cessna 172, take pictures (or, in my case, pray) was anything but clear skies.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Add to all this year-end activity the arrangements we still need to make to actually transport our little freshman and all her gear to her out-of-state university, and I think you can appreciate why I'm having trouble sleeping.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So, we had a family meeting, but it wasn't as peaceful or productive as the Bradys'. It required more than a little bullying on my part — before, during and after. We walked through the next nine weeks and took notes. I gave out some assignments (and ignored the eye-rolling). </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And, for a full five minutes after the meeting, I actually felt better. Even if things still slip through the cracks — and they will — I can smugly say, "See? That's why I wanted to have a family meeting."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">At this point, I'll take what I can get. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Thanks, Mr. and Mrs. Brady.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span><br />
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Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-16025153067569242122016-06-03T10:50:00.001-07:002016-06-03T10:50:08.155-07:00Gifts For The Grad<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC_gMMLapN4VMjmirAj0Q_IW92ETkuLsEmoaRkV8TwE_DK4iyP8i-E8B-P3g5PltNpA1_GIes3HLVnokcKBM7Hc_6QlNR-VOB1n220kAtT2xF4bFRDaV91qRAfxOsGY4widC4wLz2p49Y/s1600/F182234F_01_full.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC_gMMLapN4VMjmirAj0Q_IW92ETkuLsEmoaRkV8TwE_DK4iyP8i-E8B-P3g5PltNpA1_GIes3HLVnokcKBM7Hc_6QlNR-VOB1n220kAtT2xF4bFRDaV91qRAfxOsGY4widC4wLz2p49Y/s400/F182234F_01_full.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">According to <i>Time</i> magazine, Americans spend almost $5 billion on graduation gifts every year. Yes, that's a "b."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Whoa.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I suddenly don't feel so bad about the shopping list I'm carrying around. Graduation is ten days away, and we're invited to a small handful of parties. My own soon-to-be grad declined a party of her own, but we've found a very special — perfect, actually — gift for her. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">(Sorry, I can't go into it here ... it's a surprise. But, I'll post a picture after the big day.)</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">For those of you still looking, here are half a dozen Hollywood-inspired graduation gift ideas. </span></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My Beautiful Laundrette</span></span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Choose a cute clothes hamper or laundry bag, then fill it with detergent pods, stain stick, fabric softener, a roll of quarters, and a copy of Linda Cobb's <i>Talking Dirty Laundry with the Queen of Clean</i>.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Million Dollar Baby</span></span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>Time</i> estimates that cash accounts for 58% of the $5 billion spent. Money is practical — and appreciated — and it doesn't have to be boring. Slip it in a CD jewel case with a favorite disc or, if you're crafty, make an <a href="http://www.origami-resource-center.com/money-origami-animals.html" target="_blank">origami money menagerie</a>.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">House of Cards</span></span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Here's a nice way to make the money idea a little less mercenary. Contact the college your graduate will be going to and order an ID holder. Then, fill it with handy gift cards for online or local retailers: Amazon, Target, Starbucks.</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Splash</span></span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A cozy fleece blanket is a great idea for studying on chilly nights. But, even cooler is a cozy fleece blanket that doubles as a mermaid tail! (I wish I'd found these when my daughter was three years old.) You can see and/or order one <a href="http://www.rosegal.com/bedding-sets-203/" target="_blank">here</a>. </span></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Chocolat</span></span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Send them something sweet every four weeks. Sign them up for a 3-, 6- or 12-month <a href="http://www.amazingclubs.com/product3_Chocolate.cfm?gclid=CP3kgImtjM0CFYMkhgod1Y0DQA" target="_blank">Chocolate-of-the-Month</a> subscription. (Some freshmen might prefer a more alcoholic version of this gift, but we really don't want to encourage that, do we?)</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Home for the Holidays</span></span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This is a good idea if you're concerned your daughter may experience a little homesickness. Find a nice luggage set (something that nests is probably a good idea for storage), and attach a roundtrip ticket for Thanksgiving.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The best thing about this last idea is that it's a gift for the mom as well as the grad. And super useful too. After all, Thanksgiving will be here very soon.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">But, not soon enough for me. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span> </span></span></span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span><span><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span><span> </span></span></span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span><span><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span><span>If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span></span> </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
</span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></span></span></span>Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-91928909241411190242016-05-30T10:30:00.003-07:002016-05-30T10:30:28.230-07:00Mother of Inventions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQywGTGKGcNFNg6VxFCDDaBg8zFMU_1GZeqIy9sQtAlSZCpMtnWBaVfNhQMctMWEP-X5KkxFUILEGR-WOIzCwwrX99ZDb7TIucYOhmEruy82CR1NXv1fB0PBCU8BX1eAeMcjSQBFhyphenhyphenHEY/s1600/3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="276" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQywGTGKGcNFNg6VxFCDDaBg8zFMU_1GZeqIy9sQtAlSZCpMtnWBaVfNhQMctMWEP-X5KkxFUILEGR-WOIzCwwrX99ZDb7TIucYOhmEruy82CR1NXv1fB0PBCU8BX1eAeMcjSQBFhyphenhyphenHEY/s400/3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A couple of things happen when you wait until you're 35 to have a baby. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">First of all, for nine months (through eight OB/GYN visits, three ultrasounds, one amniocentesis and an unforgettable stay in the birthing center) you get to see a big orange sticker on your folder that reads "Advanced Maternal Age."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Second, since most of your friends have already been there, done that, you get great advice.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"You have to ask for a Diaper Genie," we were told prior to my baby shower. We heard this over and over, from mother after mother (except for the one mother who assumed we would eschew disposable landfill-fillers and sign up for an organic diaper delivery service like she did ... um, not).</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Diaper Genies were news to us. What an amazing invention! Manufactured by Playtex, it was a tall thin, lidded pail that you line with a long, thin tube of plastic. You put a used diaper in, shut it, twist it, then repeat as long as your baby is producing used diapers and until the pail is full. A few extra twists and the whole thing can be removed, so you can start over. The byproduct of all this diaper disposing and twisting is a long string of plastic wrapped diapers, sort of like an old-fashioned string of sausages. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The upside is no mess and no fuss and, most important, no smell.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The downside, of course (just ask the aforementioned friend), is that you take something that's basically bad for the environment and encase it in plastic, making it that much badder for the environment.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Um ... guilty as charged.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Other miracles of modern motherhood soon filled our happy home. My Snugli (where "comfort meets cool") gave way to collapsible strollers, melamine dishes, microwave macaroni and cheese, and juice boxes. (What did our moms do without juice boxes?) All of these inventions made motherhood so much easier. And, while my daughter is no longer a baby, a toddler or even a child (she's eighteen, omg!), I still rely on fairly new technology to get through our days together. And, I'm not even talking about smartphones or texts or the GPS system.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This time of year, my two favorite wonders of modernity are: suitcases with wheels and spray-on sunscreen.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">In the early 1970s, a gentleman named Bernard Sadow created the first suitcase on wheels, which was sold at Macy's. To this day, the inventive but unfortunate Mr. Sadow doesn't get any money for his brainchild. Nearly twenty years later, a Northwest pilot named Robert Plath updated the design so that cases were rolled upright (Sadow's were rolled flat like a steamer trunk). Originally sold to other airline employees, the "Rollaboard" eventually became the norm we all use today.<br /><br />Whenever we travel, I marvel at memories of my mother taking three kids and wheel-less luggage to Missouri every summer. (Thank goodness for airport porters and chivalrous fellow passengers.)</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The other advance that brings me joy is spray-on sunscreen. Remember that goopy white cream? Ugh! But, my daughter is fair-skinned and easily burned. In fact, after twelve years of horses, she has pretty much perfected the farmer's tan — or in her case, the equestrienne's tan. (She's dark brown below the sleeves of her polo shirts and above the line of her gloves; below her shorts but above her boots.) Each day, before she leaves for the stable, we go out onto the patio. She spreads out her arms and stands in an "X" while I simply spray her with Coppertone Sport SPF 50. What an improvement!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">In two and a half months, my daughter will leave for college. I'll send her off with plenty of spray sunscreen in her wheeled luggage. And, I'll look forward to enjoying another mother of an invention.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Our weekly Skype.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span><span><span><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span><span></span></span></span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span><span> </span></span></span></span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span><span>If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span></span></span> </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-51332298434078490942016-05-27T09:20:00.000-07:002016-05-27T09:20:15.999-07:00Promises, Promises, Prom<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilHJ7BK1CY4aT2Mr2h5UVt7owfI54RfybsArohnxZ5FP4jq8dfXS9HtfPK98faTtWfe089O5URvq12Ug1sZ9tXiZUHtkU_7twyyrVMe1uXjpP2sKeC5l6zveiPb69vhlGZvj8wF3mLLh0/s1600/onKG1T4.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilHJ7BK1CY4aT2Mr2h5UVt7owfI54RfybsArohnxZ5FP4jq8dfXS9HtfPK98faTtWfe089O5URvq12Ug1sZ9tXiZUHtkU_7twyyrVMe1uXjpP2sKeC5l6zveiPb69vhlGZvj8wF3mLLh0/s400/onKG1T4.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I have a dream. Someday, when I'm long gone, my daughter will look back and count her blessings</span><span style="font-size: large;"> that she had me for a mother. I mean, I didn't get anything terribly wrong, right? She's already told me (and I'll be happy to remind her in years to come) that I didn't push my opinions on her too much during the college search process. And (get this!) she "appreciates it." I've been there beside her through wrapping paper fundraisers, standardized test prep, polo lessons, science fair projects, social media predicaments, mean girl encounters. I've stocked our pantry with cheese poofs and cookie dough, orange soda and mozzarella sticks.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">For heaven's sake, I bought her a pony!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">But, the thing I think I'm most satisfied about is that I set a good example in terms of what women can and should be allowed to achieve. She knows that she comes first but she also knows that my work is a very close second. I'm proud to say that she has never seen me take on less than a leadership role in business. I promised myself that I would not raise a pretty little girly-girl — unless, of course, she turned out to be a pretty little girly-girl who could kick some serious butt in whatever endeavor she pursues.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">None of this though will matter one bit if she looks back on my talents for — I should say my utter ineptitude at — the traditionally girly-girl business of prom. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Yes, it's that time again. The P-word. Prom. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Here is how we have spent the past few days (and yes, I'm still running an ad agency before, during, and after all this) ...getting her legs waxed, getting her dress shortened, finding an elusive, adhesive, strapless, backless push-up bra (Saks Fifth Avenue and they don't come cheap), scheduling an up-do, choosing rhinestone jewelry, administering a rather sketchy mani-pedi, and coordinating a photographer friend so she can have a portrait taken — in full regalia prom attire — with her horse.<br /><br />This morning, we had the extra-fun bonus of trying to remove a henna tattoo (compliments of EarthFest, Boston, last week). For the record, toothpaste, baby oil, hydrogen peroxide, rubbing alcohol and nail polish remover don't work; bleach does. Yes, I soaked my daughter's hand in bleach. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Quick, call Social Services. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">But, suddenly, she's off! A quick stop at the stable to get her trusty steed ready for tomorrow's two-phase equestrian event — good-bye mani-pedi — and she'll be in countdown prom prep mode in earnest. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We expect her back here at 4:00. (That gives me about half an hour for any last-minute repairs, pins, duct tape, prayers.)</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Pictures with friends at the beach are on for 5:00. (Last year, we forgot the camera battery. We have already checked it twice.)</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The red carpet is at 6:00. (She is walking with a last-minute girl-friend. The last-minute boy-friend she was supposed to walk with is on another bus and the prison guards — er, I mean, school administrators — won't let them switch buses so they can walk together. Sorry, but WTF?)</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Buses leave at 6:30. (After they administer mandatory breathalyzers. I'm not kidding. I wish I was kidding. But, I'm not kidding.)</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Drinks with another prom mom at 7:00. (I'll be the exhausted one at the bar with no make-up, sweats and red nail polish stains, nursing the pinot grigio.) </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Hopefully, the high school won't send in the breathalyzers.</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
</span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span> </span></span></span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span></span> </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span></span></span> Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-68790855646024865472016-05-24T05:52:00.000-07:002016-05-24T05:52:25.570-07:00Insta, Rinsta, Finsta<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQpoc4O7gRGS764E0gedE-Y1E9qJgscG3odQEGwzlzoybBKV3KGS9S-qDLtv2MejCv4vgryRoBPBJu4hUWTEPTXB9wSSJ6z9O27ACPCsk8p_lrzqaKUfyjgLiMzP7z-K0f-aPpBDDiqsQ/s1600/finsta.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQpoc4O7gRGS764E0gedE-Y1E9qJgscG3odQEGwzlzoybBKV3KGS9S-qDLtv2MejCv4vgryRoBPBJu4hUWTEPTXB9wSSJ6z9O27ACPCsk8p_lrzqaKUfyjgLiMzP7z-K0f-aPpBDDiqsQ/s400/finsta.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">If you, like me, thought you were on top of tween and teen things because you knew what Instagram was, I have one thing to say to you ...</span></span><br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Get over yourself.</span></span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Unless, of course, you happen to also know what rinstagram and finstagram are. Then, I will gladly bow to you and concede that you are way hipper than I am.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I just found out about them this week.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">According to Urban Dictionary (one of my favorite, if often eye-popping, places to hang out online):</span></span><br />
<br />
<div class="meaning">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
<i>Finstagram, finsta for short, is a mixture of Fake & Instagram.
People, usually girls, get a second Instagram account along with their
real Instagrams, rinstagrams, to post any pictures or videos they
desire. The photos or videos posted are usually funny or embarrassing.
Only your closest friends follow this account.
</i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">
</span></span><div class="example">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="example">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Then, in case you just landed a contract writing scripts for The CW or FreeForm (formerly) ABC Family, Urban Dictionary offers some simple, sample usage:</span></span></div>
<div class="example">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="example">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Hey that picture you posted on your finstagram was so funny."<br /><br />"That picture is so funny you should finsta it."<br /><br />"Finsta that sh*t nowwwww!"<br /><br />"Oh let's take a picture for my finstagram." </span></span></i></div>
<div class="example">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></i></div>
<div class="example">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A rinstagram, meanwhile, is the "real" account, probably the one your daughter set up at first. This is her public persona, the face she shows the world. And, probably more to the point, this is the Instagram account that her parents know about.</span></span></div>
<div class="example">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="example">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Being perfect and popular is paramount on Instagram. This can lead to endless editing in a neverending quest for followers. </span></span></div>
<div class="example">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="example">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">What's interesting though, is that (despite the naming convention going on here) for a lot of girls, their finsta is realer than their rinsta.</span></span></div>
<div class="example">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="example">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Are you following?</span></span></div>
<div class="example">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="example">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Pretty pictures? Rinsta. Not so pretty? Finsta.</span></span></div>
<div class="example">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="example">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Happy thoughts about life? Rinsta. Darker thoughts about ... well ... the dark stuff? Finsta.</span></span></div>
<div class="example">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="example">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">If you've had a particularly horrible week, you don't elaborate on it on your rinsta. You bare your soul (not to mention your zits) on your finsta. That's all good. But, maintaining two accounts can be time-consuming. And, we all complain that our kids are overcommitted already. </span></span></div>
<div class="example">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="example">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Still, it's probably worth it. Tweens and teens, especially girls, are under so much pressure to look good. And, social media is all about revisionism and retouching. A finsta is a chance to stand up and say "I know the rest of it is bull. Here's my real life."</span></span></div>
<div class="example">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="example">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So the question of the day ... Should you ask to see your daughter's finsta?</span></span></div>
<div class="example">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="example">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">C'mon. Get real. </span></span></div>
<div class="example">
<br /><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>
</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"> </span>Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com101tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-50717190116530590082016-05-21T13:28:00.001-07:002016-05-21T13:30:32.524-07:00Reality Checks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaIDB0puQ1qae9HgA0kS6Ku4pB2vkaFwL7tE8B4gAcqENFQu7U1WJmvn5FhXyWlLuhTTbPMnJMMvVg3CpHvsV1VAKaSjTaD4scjUrAMSggj4HpCeUsqIEamfWWfIiTHvFFqtvk95xiGEk/s1600/RockwellThanksgiving.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaIDB0puQ1qae9HgA0kS6Ku4pB2vkaFwL7tE8B4gAcqENFQu7U1WJmvn5FhXyWlLuhTTbPMnJMMvVg3CpHvsV1VAKaSjTaD4scjUrAMSggj4HpCeUsqIEamfWWfIiTHvFFqtvk95xiGEk/s400/RockwellThanksgiving.jpg" width="387" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I will always remember my daughter's first day of pre-school (and not just because her grandmother has a "Kodak moment" permanently displayed on the refrigerator). It was fifteen and a half years ago. My daughter was wearing an adorable red dress, lacy ankle socks and mary janes, a fuzzy jacket with a big felt dachshund on it. She had a new lunchbox and a new backpack. She was very pleased with herself. And, I was really keeping it together. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Until I wasn't.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We went into her classroom with all the other parents and (really tiny) students. The teacher was warm and welcoming; the room filled with light, a reading area, a play kitchen, art supplies, lilliputian tables and chairs — and a row of cubbies and coat hooks with each child's name neatly printed and taped above.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">That's when I lost it.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It was the first of many "reality checks." My daughter, this adorable little blond extension of myself, was going to school. Granted, homework and tests were still many years off. But, starting school, any sort of school, was a major milestone. My baby was growing up. She would someday, if not exactly soon, be grown up.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It didn't take much to make me weepy. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Fast forward to the final three weeks of senior year. Milestone reality checks are practically daily events at this point. Happily, I've become quite expert at holding back the tears. (Good thing. I mean, sheesh, I embarrass my daughter enough without welling up every twenty minutes.) </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Nevertheless, I'm still reeling a bit.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Visiting colleges — last spring and this fall — may have been the start of it. But, those were planned events. There were tours to take, questions to ask. Big deals, certainly, but not the sudden, catch your breath, moments of truth I'm talking about.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">For example, we went to Nordstrom Rack after an accepted student overnight in February. Halfway between "Designer Jeans" and "Outerwear," all 50% off btw, my daughter turned and casually mentioned "If I go there, I start six months from tomorrow."</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Reality check!</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">It knocked the wind out of me.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">After careful consideration, in about mid-April, my daughter committed to one of the schools that had accepted her. I sent them her registration deposit.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Reality check!</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Then, more recently, they published next year's academic calendar. I wrote "Parents' Weekend" in my datebook, taking a few minutes to count just how many weeks there will be between that and "Drop Off For Freshman Orientation." </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Reality check!</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now, Southwest has opened up reservations for November and December. I just booked my daughter's flights for Thanksgiving.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You guessed it. Reality check! </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">In that simple act (completed online in maybe four minutes), I ensured that (a) she'll have tickets home and back and (b) we locked in the best fares. But, there's so much more to it than that. Think about it. If my daughter needs (and now has) tickets to fly home for Thanksgiving, that means she is actually going to be leaving me and living on a college campus some 700 miles from here for 98 days leading up to said great American holiday.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Whoa. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">At least, this Thanksgiving, I can count on having something to be thankful for. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And, I'm going to try, really hard, not to cry.</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>
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<br />Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-36799713380278402842016-05-18T08:34:00.001-07:002016-05-20T12:05:56.500-07:00Forget About It<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Last weekend, I was in the car with my husband, sister and teenage daughter. We were on our way to a fancy horse show "awards banquet" (read: sweaty riders, jug wine, burgers and hot dogs) at a hunt club. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Carole King's "Tapestry" came on the radio and I reached over and turned it up.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"I love this song," I said. "I think this album might have been the second grownup album I ever bought. End of sixth grade; after "Good-bye Yellow Brick Road."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My husband laughed. "You have an amazing memory," he said.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Not really," I assured him. "Right now I'm struggling in the 'What did I come into this room for?' department." </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You see, my daughter may be the high school senior, but I'm the one having "senior moments."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My husband admires my memory; my daughter, on the other hand, not so much. "Yeah, I know. You told me that," is a fairly frequent response from her, usually coupled with an appropriate eye roll. Sometimes I refrain from sharing some piece of news or other because chances are pretty good I already have.<br /><br />And I'd like my daughter to remember me with some modicum of respect (and a lot less eye rolling).</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A yoga teacher once told me that I would be less forgetful, less frazzled and less likely to break my foot (that's actually how the discussion started) if I resolved to do one thing at a time. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Just. One. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Not easy. If I'm leaving my third floor office to get a second cup of coffee in our first floor kitchen, I invariably bring down my mobile phone, dirty breakfast dishes, outgoing mail and stacks of paper to be recycled. This makes me feel efficient. It also leads to tripping. And, while it seems counter-intuitive, trying to remember everything results in forgetting something — sometimes the original thing I started out to do. The rest of my family can attest to this ...</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"What did I do with my coffee cup?"</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Where is my phone?"</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Have you seen my glasses?" </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I certainly understand my yogini's advice, but it isn't really in my character to follow it. Still, there are lots of tricks that feel more natural to me. For example, I send myself reminder emails. I record mini memos to myself on my phone. I use sticky notes. I put objects up on my dashboard that don't belong there. I keep a datebook. I make lists. Lots and lots of lists.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And, perhaps most important, I've learned to cut myself slack. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This morning, I had to pick someone up at Bradley Airport in Hartford. Ever the multi-tasker, I planned my drive so that I could sit in the airport parking lot and participate in a conference call for 45 minutes before her flight arrived. The only problem is that I was on automatic pilot (a close cousin to short-term memory loss) and ended up at Brainard Airport. Fortunately, I figured out my mistake (there were no terminals, no passenger carriers). Fortunately, my iPhone has a wonderful little feature called a GPS. <br /><br />Unfortunately, I spent my 45 minute conference call racing up 91 North to the place I should have gone in the first place.<br /><br />But, all's well that ends well. I was a mere ten minutes late and everything worked out.<br /><br />And, let's face it, in a week or so, I probably won't remember my misadventure anyway.<br /><br />Or where I put my car keys.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>
<br /><br />Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-31999893432184759372016-05-16T12:56:00.004-07:002016-05-16T12:56:50.124-07:00See It, Be It, Emoji It<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhze4Y23WCVfaQKgQB7pIMJ8aXEUcfqO0wpwCzid60uSOI9ErETxhw60DTJufBG6glm4xLMqoJHDLHm2gpObrxHcyLx1qQMpT1UqqPVvahGsfdvhk45clkUmcr9-EvuNPp2JdBUffHoN3w/s1600/7c69b5c6738c4b859764e8c06ee95ff2-9757a74308ce4ee2857db12b4a576fd1-0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="355" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhze4Y23WCVfaQKgQB7pIMJ8aXEUcfqO0wpwCzid60uSOI9ErETxhw60DTJufBG6glm4xLMqoJHDLHm2gpObrxHcyLx1qQMpT1UqqPVvahGsfdvhk45clkUmcr9-EvuNPp2JdBUffHoN3w/s400/7c69b5c6738c4b859764e8c06ee95ff2-9757a74308ce4ee2857db12b4a576fd1-0.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A few years ago, I took my daughter to see a really excellent documentary about how the media does — and does not — portray women. <a href="http://lovinthealien.blogspot.com/2011/11/pass-popcorn-and-outrage.html" target="_blank"><i>Miss Representation</i></a> did an extraordinary job explaining why images of women (objectified, sexualized, marginalized, diminished) affect how and where women see themselves.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"You can't be it, if you can't see it."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">How does a little girl grow up thinking she can become a doctor or a director, a lawyer or a supreme court justice, or president of these United States, if she doesn't see women in those roles. In movies. On TV. And, in advertising.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This is why, despite the profusion of pink, Barbie has actually been on the right track for some time. Okay, are most women pilots built like Barbie? (Then again, are any of us built like Barbie?) No. Do most women pilots wear pink uniforms with matching pink high heels? No. But, at least Pilot Barbie existed, along with Veterinarian Barbie and Teacher Barbie, Astronaut Barbie and Aerobics Instructor Barbie. At least Barbie had career options in addition to the cute boyfriend, cute convertible and cute townhouse. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">All pink, btw.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">We may have grown up with Barbie (and my own teenage daughter had plenty of them herself once upon a time), but today's girls covet other, more digital, playthings. Like smartphones. The message still matters though and this week, I was happy to learn that Google has broadened its emojis of women. Until now, girls could choose from a sweet selection of female angels and brides, princesses and dancing girls. If they wanted to choose an emoji representing a particular career (other than dancing or getting married), their options were male, male, and male. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">“Isn’t it time that emoji also reflect the reality that women play a key role in every walk of life and in every profession?” Google is asking.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Uh ... duh.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The proposed new emojis (not available yet but in the works) include a lady welder, a lady chemist, lady doctors, farmers, chefs, computer engineers, teachers, executives and a female Bowie-esque rockstar.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Some credit for the overdue emoji additions is being given to a film made by the Always feminine products company in which young girls complained about their under-representation in emoji-land. (Hmmmm, does <i>invisible</i> really count as <i>under-representation</i>?) Amy Butcher, a professor from Ohio Wesleyan University wrote about it in a <i>New York Times </i>op-ed piece this spring: “How is there space for both a bento box and a single fried coconut shrimp, and yet women were restricted to a smattering of tired, beauty-centric roles?” Even FLOTUS has piped in; Ms. Obama encouraged Google to create an emoji girl studying.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This isn't the first time Google has updated its emojis in answer to customer calls for diversity and inclusion. You can now select different skin tones for basic emoji humanoids. And, there is a veritable rainbow coalition of families: one man plus one woman and children, two men and children, two women and children ... you get the idea.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">News flash: the world is more than straight white men! Sheesh. Even in a society that's trying to catch up to the way real people look and act and love, women seem to be the last to the party. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">But, it's reassuring to know that Google has finally caught up with Barbie.</span></span><br />
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</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;">If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span></span>
</span></span></span></span></span>Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-19261246860968494702016-05-12T09:00:00.000-07:002016-05-12T09:05:46.974-07:00Moby Dress — The Hunt For The Elusive White<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNp1Aygwd87fqGb10QM3vDkVU-3LmB7MKbDaoEyKTaV2DUdeOHna0Fzkj-y0uIE-EbJGcdOv6kIacYNNSgOOHC-r9Vyc_kp1gqytqCGeiiGRe3gY4DBq0WqCwchy2OnkJJVa8jInj3NO8/s1600/tumblr_mlfvkryLIP1r48siso1_500-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="396" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNp1Aygwd87fqGb10QM3vDkVU-3LmB7MKbDaoEyKTaV2DUdeOHna0Fzkj-y0uIE-EbJGcdOv6kIacYNNSgOOHC-r9Vyc_kp1gqytqCGeiiGRe3gY4DBq0WqCwchy2OnkJJVa8jInj3NO8/s400/tumblr_mlfvkryLIP1r48siso1_500-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My teenage daughter will graduate from high school one month from today. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">One. Month. From. Today.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">(Can you tell that I'm freaking out?)</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Between now and then, we have to negotiate Senior Project, Senior Prom, </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">the Senior White Water Rafting Trip, </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Senior Banquet, Senior Awards, and then, finally, Graduation. We need to get her prom dress altered (temporarily shortened; it's a loaner from dear family friends who are taller than my child). We need to schedule hair and nail and miscellaneous other appointments. We need to buy, borrow or in some other way secure the appropriate bling.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And, apparently, we need to find a white dress.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I questioned this at first. The <a href="http://lovinthealien.blogspot.com/2016/04/the-partys-over.html" target="_blank">"refrigerator letter"</a> we received from the school (which was reinforced via email, snail-mail and a <u>"mandatory</u> meeting") encouraged girls to wear "dresses or skirts." Being a silk pants gal myself, this ruffled me a bit. Regardless, it didn't specify color — and that's saying something given that it was essentially five pages of very specific specifics. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Why white?" I asked, picturing all of the hardly ever or even never-worn dresses in her closet.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Duh," she replied. "That's what graduation dresses are. White."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Okay, then.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You've probably already guessed that not one of the aforementioned hardly ever or even never-worn dresses in her closet is white. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Of course not.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So, suddenly, we are on yet another mother-daughter quest. I readily agreed to this one, though, because I foresee a future in which our shopping trips will be few and far between. I cleared my schedule and we set out early. The plan was to hit the closest mall, find a dress and be home in time for her to drive a younger rider to the stable for afternoon lessons.<br /><br />Our first stop was Burlington Coat Factory. (My sister, a New York-based actress, always does well there for audition clothes.) It's only a couple of miles past the mall, and I figured if we struck the jackpot, we might be able to avoid the mall altogether.<br /><br />Sure enough, there were tons of white dresses! We found six or eight (or maybe it was ten) and she headed to the dressing room. The dresses were all similar, sleeveless, short, with A-line or "fit and flare" skirts, cotton knit with crocheted lace overlays.<br /><br />I stood outside the dressing room and waited.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Um ... Mom?"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"How is it?" I asked.<br /><br />She reluctantly stepped out. "I look like <i>Little House on the Prairie</i>."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now, I don't think she's ever seen <i>Little House on the Prairie</i>. I know she stopped reading the series about a quarter of the way through the first book, <i>Little House in the Big Woods,</i> because Pa butchered a pig.<br /><br />Yet, the dress assessment was dead-on.<br /><br />"Next!" I told her.<br /><br />Unfortunately, the next one and the next — and the next, the next and next, next, next — were equally frumpy. I couldn't decide whether they were continuing the Ingalls Wilder look or if we had moved into <i>Sister Wives</i> territory. All she needed was taller hair so she could be closer to God.<br /><br />We abandoned ship and went to the mall. <br /><br />If nothing else, we were thorough and efficient. Macy's, American Eagle, J. Crew, Forever 21, Pac Sun, Hollister, Nordstrom, even J.C. Penney ... you name it, we hunted for that elusive white dress. Alas, no go. Most of them were just as frowsy as the first set. One or two were a little less shapeless, but that meant they were too tight to move. </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So,
we're doing what any self-respecting digital-age mother-daughter team
would do. We're ordering white dresses online. Multiple white dresses.
We'll return what doesn't work.</span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">But, the whole adventure made me wonder. Was this some sort of statement about young women's roles. Not virgin vs. whore so much. More like Laura Ingalls vs. Miley Cyrus. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Neither really fit my daughter's personality.<br /><br />And, I have no problem with that.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span>
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</span><span class="post-author vcard"></span></span></span>Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-12869615326191113302016-05-09T12:07:00.000-07:002016-05-09T12:07:12.927-07:00Final Final Exam<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb_eYj22lbexkbI9NC14jR87QD_zUTssXOPH-kQGoxRJhXgWIV0hlD5Yn_BiOazsW7vd9U43PLHn36CNaJzMtaNNojWMKMOvV_uzXoKyYKr1FaQOzqa1VeZ4dLUcSnjXs9k09sK2YyS7c/s1600/-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="271" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhb_eYj22lbexkbI9NC14jR87QD_zUTssXOPH-kQGoxRJhXgWIV0hlD5Yn_BiOazsW7vd9U43PLHn36CNaJzMtaNNojWMKMOvV_uzXoKyYKr1FaQOzqa1VeZ4dLUcSnjXs9k09sK2YyS7c/s400/-1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Last night, my teenage daughter spread her work out all over our dining room table so she could study. This is nothing new. But, it makes it a little difficult for her father and me to watch anything since our tiny family room is not only adjacent, but connected by a pass-through in the wall between. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This makes my husband frustrated, which is also nothing new.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I see his point. My daughter's bedroom is the largest one in the house, fully equipped with everything said young person might need. It has not one but two desks, arranged in an "L" to facilitate both homework and electronics usage. The surface of these desks is a lovely golden oak, but rarely visible thanks to piles of homework, textbooks, dressage tests, entry forms, concert tickets, photographs, catalogs and magazines. And there's the rub. Her desk might be more conducive to study if it weren't so conducive to every other thing. When she needs to clear her head, it's generally too late to clear the desk. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Consequently, the dining room becomes her study hall.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As I said, I do see my husband's point. But, I support my daughter anyway, because I think studying trumps pretty much anything we might choose to watch. Last night, it was <i>Mr. Selfridge</i> on PBS. We kept the volume down and when one of our pre-show predictions came to pass, we silently fist-bumped rather than exclaim satisfaction out loud. Our proximity meant that any requested study aids were procured in rapid haste. Apparently, AP Bio goes down a lot easier with chocolate chips and "Popcorners" and orange soda.<br /><br />AP Bio, which she is taking for four hours this morning, is my daughter's last exam. Her final final, if you will. All of her courses except AP Bio finished nearly three weeks ago. When she gets home midday, she is done, done, done.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Wow.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Chances are, she will never again study on our dining room table. Her dorm room, most likely; the campus library, probably ... but not our dining room table. And, that table has seen some action.<br /><br />I can't count how many posterboards, dioramas, science fair and art projects have been carefully constructed there. Some stand out, like her biography of George Washington, a presentation on <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">g</span>ypsum (that would be alabaster to you and me), a shadow box of Paul Revere's ride, and a model of ancient Greece's Erechtheion, complete with statues of goddesses made by spraying toga-clad Barbie dolls with Rust-Oleum American Accents Stone Spray.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">She and I read <i>Romeo and Juliet</i> together there for freshman Honors English, switching parts scene-by-scene. That same year, we read Homer's epic poem <i>The Odyssey.</i> Longer (and less fun) than <i>R<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">&</span>J</i>, it was nevertheless time well spent and certainly helped her score a better grade from a notoriously difficult teacher. So that was a happ<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">y</span> ending all around.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">For the past four years, <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">my daughter</span> has taken over the dining room for virtually every mid-term and final, a handful of APs, SAT and ACT prep, and even her college application essays. It kept her focused and reassured me that she was actually hitting whatever books she needed to hit without being too distracted by incoming texts. On many recent nights, we've headed up to bed while she and her work remained downstairs.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">But, like so many other things, large and small, these days ... her late night sessions are over.<br /><br />Now, and for the foreseeable future, we have our dining room back. We can "Whoop!" and high-five and watch TV as loud as we want. And, I won't wake up in the morning to a table cluttered with sticky notes — or sticky snack<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">s.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And no matter how melancholy I may be about the changes we <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">go through, I can console myself with the fact that my daughter is off on a wonderful new adventure. <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In fact,</span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">those afternoons and evenings (and even wee<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">-</span>hour<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">-</span>in<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">-</span>the<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">-</span>mornings) paid off handsomely.</span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And that's another happy ending all around. </span></span> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
</span><span style="font-size: small;"><span><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span>If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span> </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></span>Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-46363419754597292882016-05-05T06:20:00.001-07:002016-05-05T07:31:53.545-07:00Would You Care To Buy A Vowel?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYjP-PfxvMehQn_ZCBajsS34DHRnEhSlxaRrFUEU8T1lv1R-UITHTQvpeRjrY3pxEUG9rCtI853prC3E5KtYxmt8vAYdxGKB5l6036d74KnNCHB5fwHfxJ_T_o7sVYiTS56jmLzQCiy-0/s1600/n-TEEN-TEXTING-large570.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYjP-PfxvMehQn_ZCBajsS34DHRnEhSlxaRrFUEU8T1lv1R-UITHTQvpeRjrY3pxEUG9rCtI853prC3E5KtYxmt8vAYdxGKB5l6036d74KnNCHB5fwHfxJ_T_o7sVYiTS56jmLzQCiy-0/s400/n-TEEN-TEXTING-large570.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Earlier this week, I wrote about learning a second (or in my teenage daughter's case, <a href="http://lovinthealien.blogspot.com/2016/04/asl-svp.html" target="_blank">a third</a>) language in college<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span>and the potentially painful <a href="http://lovinthealien.blogspot.com/2016/05/a-pain-in-teenage-neck.html" target="_blank">physical <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">consequence</span>s </a>of too much texting.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This morning, I'm going to combine those two topics and share highlights (or, I should probably say, lowlights) of a glossary I recently came across. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you're <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">the parent of a teen or tween, you <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">already</span> know how <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">fast</span> those young fingers can zip across a smart<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">phone keypad. And, if you've been on the receiving end of texts, you also know how rare it is to see a mark of punctuation or even a vo<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">wel. <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A</span>nd</span>, it isn't simply a matter of shorthand. Texters have developed <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">their</span> own language, much of it created not just for speed but for subterfuge.</span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Here is a quick A-Z of some of the naughtiest (and in some cases<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, </span>grosse<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">st) </span>texting acronyms.</span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Be warned, however, if you bother to commit these to memory, they are sure to be replaced as quickly as ... well, as <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">quickly as your daughter or son can t<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ext.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">AYMM - Are you my mother?</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">B<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">OBFOC - Body off <i>Baywatch</i>, <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">f</span>ace off <i>Crimewatch</i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">C<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">U46 - See you for sex</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">DBABA<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I</span> - Don't be a bitch about it</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">E<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SADYFA - Eat <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">s</span>h*<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">t and die, you f*cking <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">a<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">**hole</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">FOGC - Fear of getting <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">caught</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">GNOC - Get naked on camera</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">HPO<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A - Hot piece of a**</span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">IITYWYBMAD</span> - If I tell you, will you buy me a drink?</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">JEOMK - Just ejacu<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">lated on my keyboard (Editorial note: e<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">w!)</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">KPC - Keeping parents cl<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ueless</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">LHOS - Let's have online sex</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">MIRL - Meet in real life</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">NNWW - Nudge, nudge, wink, wink</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">OSI<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">NTOT - Oh sh*t, I never thought of that</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">POMS - Parent <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">o</span>ver <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">m</span>y <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">s</span>houlder</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Q2C - Quick to c*m</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">RU//18 - Are you under 18?</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">SFB - Sh*t for brains</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">TBIU - The bitch is ugly</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">UFUF - You f<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">*ck, you fix</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">VRBS - Virtual reality bullsh*t</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">WTGP - Want to go pr<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ivate? </span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">XTC - Ecstacy</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">YCMTSU - You can't make this sh*t up</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ZMG - Oh my God!</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And, yes, ZMG is exactly how I feel right about now. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There used to be a gameshow (a very silly gameshow) cal<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">led <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Bumper Stickers</i>, in which co<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">ntestants tried to decipher vanity license plate<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">s.</span></span></span></span> I can imagine a new one<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">: <i>The Ten Thousand Dollar Text, </i>or<i> Wheel of Texting, </i>or<i> Family Fingers.</i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The only problem is that the average age of a gameshow <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">enth<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">usiast</span></span> is 57.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And that's just T<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">FO. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">(Too <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">f*<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">cking old.)</span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> <span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"></span></span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-59266745758230940572016-05-02T11:14:00.001-07:002016-05-02T11:14:38.125-07:00A Pain In The Teenage Neck<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVeFSBDojgcTG74VHKNwG6g1pUVGDGB8J_SctWzjTsVBuPN8dgMrHTWxfz5Mbl6Mzo7LFWRJ5Zcktq858vCWQL05T4igl7_rTCb7U7WNNlf8PjRQR0LFFe2o-h8Qm9NT42m7jrTlIxEps/s1600/neck_xray.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVeFSBDojgcTG74VHKNwG6g1pUVGDGB8J_SctWzjTsVBuPN8dgMrHTWxfz5Mbl6Mzo7LFWRJ5Zcktq858vCWQL05T4igl7_rTCb7U7WNNlf8PjRQR0LFFe2o-h8Qm9NT42m7jrTlIxEps/s400/neck_xray.jpg" width="376" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I recently had to have physical therapy for some pain, stiffness and "clicking" in my neck. (Yes, that's a thing. A 54-year-old thing.) With a handful of sessions, some daily exercises and an increase in "postural awareness," I'm feeling significantly better. And, looking on the bright side (because what, after all, is the alternative?), at least I don't have "text neck."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Text neck, which the <i>Washington Post </i>recently referred to as "an epidemic," is ...</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="_Tgc">"... the term used to describe the neck
pain and damage sustained from looking down at your cell phone, tablet,
or other wireless devices too frequently and for too long. Children and
teens are especially at risk for suffering symptoms of text neck."</span></span></span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="_Tgc">My own teenage daughter is a voracious texter, but I don't think she has text neck. Happily, she spends a considerable part of each day working with horses. This can lead to many injuries, sore muscles, bumps, bruises, the occasional concussion, even "horse hickeys," but it does preclude one from all-day every-day texting and, consequently, the dreaded text neck.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="_Tgc">(This is just another reason why all those payments to the stable have been worth it. Well, this and the fact that there are virtually no boys there at all, of which fact I remind my husband on a regular basis.)</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="_Tgc">Anyway ...</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="_Tgc">Text neck, or more officially "Text Neck Overuse Syndrome" is characterized by:</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="_Tgc">• </span></span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Upper back pain<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">,</span> from chronic<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">,</span> nagging to sharp<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">,</span> sever<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">e.</span></span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">• Shoulder pain<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">,</span> tightness<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and </span>possibly muscle spasms.</span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">• Pinched nerves<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span>and <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">pain</span> radiating down arm<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">,</span> into hand.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">OMG. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And, if all of this doesn't sound sufficiently UN-pleasant, text neck may lead to arthritis later in life.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I repeat, OMG. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So what<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">'</span>s a texting teen to do? According to <i>Spine Health</i>, there are steps to take that can counter the negative effects of text neck:</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">• Lift the phone to eye level<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">.</span> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">• Take frequent breaks. (Like that's gonna happen.)</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">• Change position. For example, lie on your back.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">• Focus on maintaining upright, neutral posture.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">• Stretch and arch your back periodically.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">• Exercise to build strength in your back and neck. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">All of this is fairly common-sensical, right? The problem is, in human nature and teen nature in particular, common sense is anything but common. I'm a few years (okay, a few decades) past my teens, but I didn't address the pain in my neck until it actually was a pain in my neck.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">As parents, we may think that teens texting is a pain in the neck. But the teens themselves don't.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Or at least, they don't <i>yet</i>. </span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
</span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span> </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-21679692934880008532016-04-30T09:08:00.000-07:002016-04-30T09:08:20.298-07:00ASL, SVP<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Je me souviens ...</span></span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My teenage daughter used to really like French. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My husband and I have both been known to butcher said beautiful romance language. (At a hotel on the Riviera, my spouse once told the concierge that the car left its key in our room but, <i>comme toujours</i>, he made up for what he lacked in grammar with his enthusiasm.) When my daughter was little, we used French when we didn't want her to know what we were saying. She was particularly gleeful when her own studies (in eighth grade or so) surpassed our sorry attempts. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So much for our secret language.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My daughter enjoyed middle school French. She certainly enjoyed our <a href="http://lovinthealien.blogspot.com/2012/07/peace-train.html" target="_blank">mother-daughter trip to Paris</a>. We visited Sacre Couer and the Eiffel Tower, Notre Dame, Versailles (my favorite) and the Catacombs (hers).<br /><br />We took a late night boat ride along the Seine, </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">ate crepes and croissants, and my daughter conducted a thorough if not exactly scientific taste test of all the onion soup </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="st"><em>gratinée</em></span> of the city</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">. Throughout, we gamely exercised our skills </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="st"><em>françaises</em></span>.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">But, some time later in high school, between French 3 and French 4, la perle lost its sheen. There was a tremendous jump between the expectations of those two levels. They went from taking vocabulary tests (my daughter has always been a crack memorizer) to reading entire novels and doing oral presentations in class (not her favorite thing, regardless of the language). </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">She qualified for AP French but responded with a definitive, <i>"Non, merci."</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Those weren't her exact words, but you get the general purpose and intent. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">In just a few months (<i>mon dieu!</i>), she'll head off to college. Although she has already declared her Equine Business major, she is enrolled in a liberal arts curriculum and is expected to fulfill a language requirement. This generated some dinner table discussion.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I suggested that she return to French, ensuring her that, as I found at my own alma mater, college courses would be much better than high school.<br /><br />My husband also suggested that she return to French, with the helpful hint that if she dropped down a couple of levels, it would be very easy to score an "A."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My daughter had a different idea. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"I'm going to take American Sign Language," she told us.<br /><br />Wow.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This was a different (and completely valid it turns out) solution. In fact, it may even come in very handy because I'm hoping that along with her Equine Business courses, she'll take some classes in Therapeutic Riding. Horses and horsemanship have proven very beneficial for riders with all sorts of disabilities and impairments. How amazing it would be if all of her interests and academic pursuits converged into something so special and important.<br /><br />Then again, maybe it's just a creative solution to get out of a foreign language requirement.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Either way, it's her choice, <i>n'est-ce pas</i>?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="st"><em>Bien sûr</em></span>.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span>If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span></span> </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-14711909046759226572016-04-25T12:42:00.002-07:002016-04-25T13:21:52.023-07:00Sing Out, Thelma and Louise<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Many moons ago, when my daughter and I were traveling with another family, I was scolded by the other mother for "Never saying 'No'." </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I thought at the time (and still think today) that this was a bit unfair. I know what "No" means. I know how to say "No." I have said "No." Really. I've said "No" a lot. A lot. A real lot. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Just not as often as I might have. Or, maybe, not as often as some other mothers do. Trust me, when it mattered, I said "No."<br /><br />Fork in electrical outlet? "No!"<br /><br />Knife in reach on the counter? "No!"</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Running off a curb into traffic? "No! No! No!"</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">What I didn't do was say "No" for no reason. Our marvelous pediatrician gave me great advice when my daughter was turning two. (Actually, he gave me great advice many times, many many many times, but this one is germane to my essay here.) He said: </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>"Here come the terrible twos. She'll be testing you all the time now. And, you're going to have to say 'No.' But, don't say 'No' unless you're going to stick with it. If that means you say 'Yes' 98% of the time, that's ok. But, once you say 'No,' you have to see it through. If you say 'No' and she cries for 45 minutes and then you give in, all you've taught her to do is to cry for 45 minutes."</i><br /><br />Needless to say, that little speech scared me straight. And, I particularly liked the saying "Yes" part. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The thing is, my daughter was an easy child. She rarely disobeyed. She rarely threw a tantrum. When asked to describe her with one word on her kindergarten application, I chose "compliant."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">(Excuse me now while I shake my head with wonder about how things change ... </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Still shaking ...</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Still shaking ...</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">All right, I'm done.)</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">She may not be as easy as she once was — and I may find myself saying "No" more than I used to — but, I still think that if I can help her pursue joy, I should.<br /><br />Thus, I recently found myself doing a three-day roadtrip to New York and Providence with her so she could see her favorite band. This was neither convenient, nor easy, nor inexpensive. But, it was important to her. It made her happy. <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">All in all, w</span>e had nearly twelve hours together in the car, which gave us ample time to talk about upcoming senior year activities, new horses at her stable, and questionable decisions made by some of her friends. We ate junk food and sang along to the cast recordings of <i>Spring Awakening </i>and<i> Hamilton</i>. We were roadies together, like Thelma and Louise but with a happier ending.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And, as much as saying "No" might have taught her a lesson, I think fulfilling her request taught her something too. Like, how going out of your way to make someone you love happy is worth doing. When she heads off to college in just under four months, I want her to think of her mother as someone who said "Yes" more than she said "No."<br /><br />Unlike Thelma and Louise, we made it home safe and sound, exhausted and happy. You guessed it. We were safe and sound; I was exhausted.<br /><br />She was happy.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span> </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-3451326271573943922016-04-21T14:00:00.003-07:002016-04-21T14:06:45.793-07:00The Party's Over<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Graduation is a mere seven weeks away. And, in case any of us have let that slip our minds, my daughter's school just issued a letter about it. A five-page letter. A five-page "refrigerator letter," so named because they are asking us to post it prominently in our homes. And, with a teenager in the house, what could be a more prominent position than ... you guessed it ... the refrigerator.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">(After all, that's where the orange soda and chocolate chip cookie dough live.)<br /><br />To the authors' credit, the letter did start out with a few words of congratulations: "with great anticipation of their bright futures." It then walked us through all of the senior activities scheduled for the coming weeks. From the <u>mandatory</u> (their underline, not mine) parents meeting, through the annual carnival, Senior Art Show, prom, white water rafting trip, up until the big day itself.<br /><br />This is useful information and I will, indeed, post said letter (or, at the very least, tuck it into my desk planner). I appreciate knowing what's going on. Really, I do.<br /><br />My issue is with the tone.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">After those extremely succinct words of celebration, the letter quickly became a long list of all the terrible things our teenagers might do which would preclude their graduating along with their peers. Here, in no particular order, are just some of the potential (it truly feels like they're anticipated) crimes and misdemeanors:<br /> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">• Not passing a course</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">• Not returning a library book<br />• Not paying senior dues<br />• Not serving detentions<br />• Not returning a sports uniform<br />• Not cleaning out a locker</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">• Not turning in the "Post-Graduation Plan" sheet<br />• Not settling up any cafeteria charges </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">That's a lot of "Not."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">There are also things that students might not not do (in other words, do) that would result in graduation expulsion. These include:</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">• Being in possession of alcohol </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">• Being in possession of drugs</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">• Being in possession of tobacco ...</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">• Or of "related paraphernalia"<br /><br />(All of the above get them kicked out of prom as well as kept away from graduation.)<br /><br />Then, there are other mandatory get-togethers: graduation rehearsal ("<u>all seniors must attend!</u>") and a "<u>mandatory</u> safety procedure preparation meeting" for anyone going white water rafting.<br /><br />And, finally, students are warned that "No flip-flops or sneakers will be allowed" at commencement itself. This particular outrage holds a less severe penalty. The offender will merely be sent home to change. (Phew!)<br /><br />Oh, and don't get me started on the fact that they suggested that girls wear dresses or skirts.<br /><br />What is this? 1961?<br /> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Nevertheless, I know that safety has to come first (or at least right after making sure you return your sports uniform and any library books). But, rather than talk quite so much about "setting up clear boundaries and meaningful consequences," I wish they would give our kids the benefit of the doubt. Yes, spell it all out, but maybe also acknowledge that our students have worked hard and — for the most part — behaved like responsible young adults thus far. I don't think words like "violation" really need to be used quite so much. <br /><br />Then again, they did offer <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">an idea for a</span> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">mother-daughter activity</span>. They pointed out that "Students should be able to say 'no thanks' if offered alcohol or drugs or tobacco." My daughter happened to be hanging out in my office when I read the letter, so I suggested we role play.<br /><br />"Here, little girl," I sneered like the Wolf in <a href="http://lovinthealien.blogspot.com/2015/01/pass-popcorn-into-woods.html" target="_blank"><i>Into the Woods</i></a>, "Have some alcohol or drugs or tobacco."<br /><br />Silence.<br /><br />"You're supposed to say, 'No thank you,'" I prompted.<br /><br />"No. Thank. You."<br /><br />Well. My work here is done.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span></span>
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<span class="post-author vcard"></span><br />Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-82820817056338997972016-04-18T13:53:00.001-07:002016-04-18T13:53:08.282-07:00What The Dickens?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The summer before my teen daughter started high school, she was faced with a no-win situation: either read <i>David Copperfield</i> or drop out of Honors English before she even started it.<br /><br />At the time (with graduation looming, it seems so long ago), I was upset on her behalf. First of all, I think our kids are thoroughly over-scheduled and have too much homework all year. It would have been nice for her to have a summer vacation that actually was a summer vacation. Second, <a href="http://lovinthealien.blogspot.com/2012/08/books-for-boys.html" target="_blank">I was disappointed</a> that a course which attracts so many more girls than boys (estimating the percentages to be about 80/20 wouldn't be far-fetched) selected a book by a man rather than a woman. And, third, I worried that <i>Copperfield,</i> which is neither short nor easy, read without the benefit of a helpful instructor, would turn my daughter and her friends off Mr. Dickens — thoroughly and forever. Wouldn't <i>Great Expectations</i> have been a better choice?<br /><br />For the record though, I never had anything against the title or the author as worthwhile literature. In fact, as I watched my daughter reluctantly read that summer, I realized that my own Dickensian education was not where it should be. I had been assigned maybe half a dozen of his novels in high school and college. And, that insignificant sampling was missing some of his most important titles.<br /><br />Whether it was out of familial solidarity, an English major's guilt, or temporary insanity, I vowed to go back and read all of his works. I found an antique set of 30 volumes on eBay and began with <i>The Pickwick Papers</i>. When I told people about my project, I usually received a one-word response.<br /><br />Some people said, "Wow."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">But, most said, "Why?"<br /><br />And, that "Why" wasn't an actual inquiry into my reasons for the undertaking. It was more like an abbreviation for "Why in God's name would you ever even consider that?" and accompanied by a distasteful wrinkling of the nose as if the person smelled rotting fish somewhere on a dark and foggy nineteenth century London pier.<br /><br />From <i>Pickwick Papers</i>, I moved right into <i>Oliver Twist </i>(a story I was familiar with from countless childhood viewings of the 1968 musical; I had a crush on Jack Wild as the "artful dodger"). But, I found keeping track of a new list of colorful characters a little confusing. After I finished, I decided to intersperse contemporary titles (sometimes two or three ... or ten) between the different Dickens novels. Of course, I realized that this would take a lot longer, but it's not like I was going anywhere.<br /><br />Some of the most famous titles I read (or re-read) were just marvelous, like <i>Bleak House </i>(which was featured in a course I once took called "Images of Women in Great Literature") and <i>A Tale of Two Cities</i>, <i>Little Dorrit </i>and<i> Nicholas Nickleby</i>. I disrupted my chronological progress a bit so that I could savor <i>A Christmas Carol</i> during the holidays. I struggled through a couple (okay, maybe more than a couple) of absolute snores. And then completely fell in love with <i>Dombey and Son</i>, whose heroine Florence was so pathetic that she made <i>The Old Curiosity Shop's</i> Little Nell seem like a Kardashian.<br /><br />Last week, I completed <i>The Mystery of Edwin Drood</i>. Except, of course, I didn't and couldn't actually "complete" it because the great Mr. Dickens became the late Mr. Dickens before he gave the novel an ending. Apparently, he was done. And so, apparently, was I.<br /> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">For those of you who asked, "Why?," I can in all honesty say that I enjoyed the exercise a great deal, most of the time. And, even when a particular title (or particularly long and boring passage) was a challenge, I got through it and was generally rewarded for my effort.<br /><br />For those of you who said, "Wow!" ... well, I quite agree. <br /><br />Now, I'm putting the set back up on eBay for some other enthusiastic peruser. And, I'm moving on to <i>The Complete Works of William Shakespeare.<br /></i>My daughter, who (as I predicted) will never be a Dickens fan </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">after her summer with <i>Copperfield</i> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">(alas, she was one of the people who asked "Why?"), leaves for college in three months, three weeks and four days.<br /><br />I expect to have a lot of time for reading very soon.</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><br />
</span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;">If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span>Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-60010045663957495772016-04-15T06:29:00.000-07:002016-04-15T06:29:50.861-07:00The Last Lunch<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Yesterday, I had one of those bittersweet parenting moments. (We're at "high school graduation minus eight weeks" now — I'm expecting a lot of these in my immediate future.) Yesterday, I did something for the last time. And, for a change, I actually realized it. All right, not right at that moment; it was about five minutes later, but still ...</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Yesterday, I made my last school lunch.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Whoa."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Yesterday was my teenage daughter's final day of regular classes. We have April break next week, then she will only attend first-period AP Bio each day before heading off for her senior project internship.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Thus, the last lunch.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I repeat, "Whoa."<br /><br />To put this in perspective, my daughter has been going to school full-time since she was three-going-on-four. If we think about 180 days per year for 15 years, minus maybe 10% for half-days, that's ...</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Well, that's ...</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Um, that's ...</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">That's a sh*tload of lunches.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Starting in preschool and all through elementary, middle and high, I dutifully packed a lunch more days than not. We went through many lunchboxes (<i>Power Puff Girls, Brady Bunch, Nightmare Before Christmas</i>, a personalized cooler-pack from L.L. Bean). The first few years, her lunch of choice revolved around a basic food group: the chicken nugget. Eventually, she was willing to bring sandwiches and wraps. A few years ago, she graduated to salads. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Apparently, I made a mean lunch salad because she used to sell my salad services for $5 to some of her friends. It didn't make that big a difference to me, just had to chop extra lettuce and extra chicken breast, shell an extra handful of edamame, sprinkle some extra cheese, fill an extra container with extra vidalia onion dressing.<br /><br />With all that "extra" work on my part, who do you think got the $5?<br /><br />Here's a clue. Not me.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Nevertheless, like some of her <a href="http://lovinthealien.blogspot.com/2012/04/investing-in-candy-land.html" target="_blank">other entrepreneurial efforts</a>, the salad business quickly fell by the wayside. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Making lunch has never been a particularly special part of my day, more like a mindless ritual. It takes about 20 minutes or so and I try to make each one creative and relatively healthy. In addition to the main course (be that one of my famous salads or a more pedestrian sandwich), I include fruit, a snack-size bag of something crunchy (and, I admit, decidedly un-healthy — like Cheese Puffs), a sports bottle of water, and a small treat. My daughter (like her lovin' mama) has a sweet tooth. I only recently discovered that in addition to the dessert I was giving her, she also bought cookies at the cafeteria. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So much for my relatively healthy lunches.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">These cookies, allegedly "the only edible thing" they serve, are oversized, with chocolate chips or M&Ms. They cost $1.<br /><br />Yesterday, my daughter treated herself to two of them.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">After all, it was her last lunch.</span></span><br />
<br /><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;">If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span></span></span>Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-16861186612412082402016-04-12T09:36:00.000-07:002016-04-12T09:37:43.307-07:00E-Cards From The Edge<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Things around here have been a little on edge lately.</span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">My teenage daughter has one week left of regular high school classes, then April vacation, then an AP exam and an internship. Then, prom, the senior white water rafting trip (say what?), graduation and ... done.<br /><br />Wow. "Done."<br /><br />Basically, all of my parental peers are in the same neuro-psycho-physical condition. All we do is shake our heads, stare blankly, and mutter inanities like, "Where did the time go?" And, "It seems like just yesterday ..."<br /><br />In the next few weeks, I'm sure I'll write many posts about things I miss now and things I'll miss soon. But, before I pull out the extra large box of Kleenex, I'll pass along some parenting humor (a little of it's off-color, but so is life with a teenager). Maybe it will take the edge off.<br /><br />Enjoy!</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span>Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-87472312461270334012016-04-10T07:25:00.000-07:002016-04-10T07:36:01.359-07:00Fake It Till You Make It<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So many of the day-to-day challenges that my teenage daughter and her peers face are new to her generation. Thirty-five years ago, we didn't have smart phones; we didn't have cell phones; we didn't even have "car phones." </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">If we were lucky, we had an extension phone (my sister's and mine was a pink "princess") in our bedroom. And, we carried dimes in our wallets to use pay phones when we left the house.<br /><br />Mobile phones, the Internet, social media, texting ... these are all things that are new to the teen experience.<br /><br />Fake I.D.s? Not so much.<br /> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">In the Broadway musical <i>Grease</i>, the loving tribute to 1950s high school, good girl Sandy sings:</span></span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"I don't even have my corsage, oh gee</span></span></i><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>It fell down the sewer with my sister's ID"</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Borrowing an older sibling's ID, or paying for a forged one, is clearly as old as sock hops and soda fountains. I myself never owned one, but that didn't preclude me from some less-than-legal fake ID behavior.<br /><br />My first year in college, some of the older students in our dorm were trying to get us to go to the campus pub. "No one checks IDs," they insisted. To prove their point, they chose the whitest, youngest-looking,<i> </i>female freshman (that would be moi) and handed me the student ID of a dorm-mate who was (a) black, (b) a senior, and (c) a man. <br /><br />And, yes. As you may have guessed, the students working the door at the pub took the ID, looked at it, looked at me, and ... let me in.<br /><br />'Talk about instilling in all of us a respect for authority and a fear of consequences. Er ... Not!</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i>(It didn't matter much though. I was only there for the music and the pizza and the popcorn. I didn't even like beer. Then or now. But, I digress.)<br /><br />Since those kinder, gentler days of the mid-1980s, security everywhere has increased: airports, liquor stores, concerts. So has the technology behind official IDs: holograms, bar codes, microchips. While the IDs themselves have become more difficult to counterfeit, the avenues open to fake ID seekers have multiplied. No longer do teens have to count on "a friend's older brother's teammate's contact in the next town over." They can order fake IDs — and quite convincing ones — online. Many of them are manufactured in China.<br /><br />Recently, some girls in my daughter's senior class decided to obtain said iconic symbols of independence. <br /><br />(Don't worry, ladies. I'm not naming any names. After all, I trust you. And, I wouldn't want my own infamous pub story to go public. Oh, wait ... too late.)<br /><br />I think, as senior year winds down, what we're seeing is a uniquely teen combination of boredom and thrill-seeking. Plus, there's the added pressure of fitting in with the crowd. I doubt that any of the teens in our town have trouble getting alcohol if they want it (trust me; it's everywhere), but owning a fake ID is a time-honored right of passage, and with it, in theory, you can go to concerts at 21+ venues.<br /><br />My only word of caution would be this: fake IDs were always against the law — even for the kids at Rydell High. But, with today's worries about terrorism and identity theft, the scrutiny and potential consequences are higher. If you are caught using a fake ID, you can be charged with a number of crimes. Yes, crimes — not "Call your father to come pick you up at the station," not you're grounded for a week, but actual "crimes."<br /><br />Laws vary state-by-state, but possessing or using a fake ID can result in anything from a misdemeanor charge and $500 fine, to felony charges of impersonation and forgery that can carry as much as 18 months in prison. If you've altered an official document (changed the date of birth on an actual license, for example), the penalties are worse: up to 7 years in prison for "tampering with a public record." And one fake ID incident can result in charges against multiple people: the person who made the fake ID; the person who bought it; the person who purchases alcohol with it; the underage friends who enjoy it. Even the bar or liquor store that sold the alcohol can face fines and they, in turn, can sue you for damages.</span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Doesn't this all sound a little complicated? And absolutely not worth it?</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I get it, I truly do. When I was 18, I thought it was really cool that a bunch of seniors wanted to hang out with me, not to mention really funny that I could get into the pub with someone very different's ID. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Maybe it isn't fair that we could get away with pranks like that in the 80s, but kids today can't. Sorry.<br /><br />So, my dear young adults, if you have a fake ID, please don't use it. No beer, no fruity cocktail, no concert is worth it. Tuck it away in your yearbook ...<br /><br />With your other high school mementos.<br /><i></i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span>Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-53866960342570768652016-04-07T05:49:00.002-07:002016-04-07T16:13:17.926-07:00App-rehension<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicmpS-_FL7uyBwGE3veuvtpcImE4l4XpdS0BVUZcJHdp-BO_rffWbOCveVY-qNH63dLGQGjyWmutiCB6NY3d-ivKqKceLXd0y0p5UIjQTbvSCOjAo_afemml7__4czKfud_K-LgK3haio/s1600/Teen+Sexting.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="325" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicmpS-_FL7uyBwGE3veuvtpcImE4l4XpdS0BVUZcJHdp-BO_rffWbOCveVY-qNH63dLGQGjyWmutiCB6NY3d-ivKqKceLXd0y0p5UIjQTbvSCOjAo_afemml7__4czKfud_K-LgK3haio/s400/Teen+Sexting.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Remember when we worried about whether or not to let our 14-year-olds use Facebook?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Man, those were the good old days.<br /><br />Most teens I know barely look at Facebook anymore. And, do you know why? Because old people (yes, people my age even!) have moved in on it. Think about it, when you were 18, did you want to hang out with your parents?<br /><br />Not so much.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Every several months or so, <i>Lovin' the Alien</i> focuses on the latest and greatest (and in some cases, scariest) technology that parents of teenagers should know about. These posts always get record numbers of hits, which makes me feel like I'm providing a valuable service. (But, it's also a little bittersweet to realize that my readers are more interested in stalking and bullying and sexting than in my ever loving tributes to my perpetually harmonious relationship with my own always perfect teen.)</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Oh, well.<br /><br />Sometimes, being a parent feels a little like being part of the FBI. Or the CIA. Or Homeland Security or the NSA. As soon as we figure out what's going on and who's involved, the game completely changes. Chances are, if we know about an app, our teens have already moved on to the next one.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Here are several apps that you may not have heard of, but might want to keep your eyes open for:</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i>What'sApp</i><br />This is a free texting service that lets you send messages, photos, video and audio clips to friends. It's supposed to be for users 16 and up, but the people behind the app don't really have a way to police this. The app pressures members to add more friends each time they use it.<br /><br /><i>YouNow</i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This app promises to let you "Broadcast, Chat, and Watch Live Video." Users stream content, comment on it, and judge it, awarding gold bars. By its nature, it becomes a competition to see whose live videos (often broadcast from a teen's bedroom) can get the most attention. And, that can lead to potentially dangerous behavior. If someone offers you another gold bar for taking off your shirt, maybe you'll do it. Well, you wouldn't. And, I wouldn't. But ...<br /><br /><i>Whisper</i><br />This supposedly anonymous app lets teens confess their deepest secrets. It's like a private — but public — diary. Much of the content, as you might imagine, is dark, including depression, suicide, substance abuse. Teens are emotional beings and the emotions on Whisper run high. There are a lot of sexual confessions with accompanying photos. And, perhaps, most worrisome is that the anonymity is by no means assured. In fact, the app encourages users to "Meet Up" and exchange contact information.<br /><br /><i>Omegle</i><br />This app makes me think of the game Russian Roulette. It's a chat site that matches a user with another user, letting them chat or (worse) video-chat. Most users are there to participate in some form of cyber sex; there are frequently links to porn and the language, not to mention video, is decidedly X-rated. What troubles me is that teens, who are hormonal and curious, may see this as a "safe" way to experiment. The fact that there's no registration required feels to a teen like it's safe and anonymous. As a parent though, that fact means no recourse should something unthinkable happen.<br /><br /><i>Tinder</i><br />Perhaps the most familiar name on this list, Tinder is used by many adults looking to "hook-up." (In fact, it's a major story thread in the midlife crisis comedy <a href="http://womensvoicesforchange.org/tag/girlfriends-guide-to-divorce" target="_blank">Girlfriend's Guide to Divorce</a>.) You "swipe left," if you're not interested; "swipe right" if you are. The trouble is, on the Internet <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">no</span> one knows you're underage. And, many teens use it to enjoy casual, no-strings attached sex — without a doubt, that's the very goal of the app (and its estimated 50 million users). While the idea of a teenager participating in cyber sex via a monitor in their bedroom is frightening enough, Tinder users make connections and then meet them in person. Imagine your daughter or son going off somewhere to have sex with a stranger. And, mind-boggling as it seems, they don't even think of the person as a "stranger" because they "know" them from connecting online. The potential consequences — STDs, violence, rape, murder — are beyond horrific. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">If any of this is news to you, do with it what you will. For the record, I don't condone un-warranted snooping. I have given my (technically adult) daughter a lot more freedom lately. We took the parental controls off her computer; </span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">I no longer have access to her passwords or accounts.</span></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> If she had a diary, I don't think I'd read it. And, even when I do have an opportunity to snoop (let's face it, these days, I'm the only one cleaning up her room), I resist. She has a right to privacy. <br /><br />But, if I was concerned about her behavior — if I honestly felt she was in danger, I would break my own rule pretty fast. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Much faster than she could "swipe right."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span>Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-9059981690459562682016-04-02T09:22:00.000-07:002016-04-07T01:44:59.874-07:00The Biggest Check I Never Wrote<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I've written some pretty big checks in my day.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">First of all, my husband and I, already in our 30s, paid for our wedding. That was, at the time, the biggest check we ever wrote.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Then, we bought a house. Wow. That was one big check. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Then I started a business. Besides writing checks to pay my team and for expenses like photography, printing and postage, I have to write checks to the U.S. Treasury and the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Every quarter. For thirteen years.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In terms of money, actual numerical digits committed to paper, these were all big checks. Really big checks. But, last week my daughter — officially — committed to the <a href="http://lovinthealien.blogspot.com/2016/03/one-and-done.html" target="_blank">college of her choice</a>. After a quick back and forth with her admissions officer about whether she might qualify for work-study at the school's stable (she does!), we took a deep breath and sent them a deposit. The concept of college was suddenly very real. So, in terms of significance and emotional weight, that may have been the biggest check I ever wrote.<br /><br />Except I didn't.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You see, there wasn't any actual writing or any actual check. I paid my daughter's college deposit online. With a Visa.<br /><br />I'm a self-confessed "Analog Girl" (a nickname that my man <a href="http://lovinthealien.blogspot.com/2013/08/the-lady-is-punk.html" target="_blank">Jim Steinman</a> got such a kick out of — yeah, he and I are besties now). Living in a paperless world is a constant source of disappointment. I actually <i>like</i> ticket stubs and theatre playbills, postcards, mementos, physical magazines. I have files of my old report cards, Dean's List notifications, and term papers. I have all my diaries from the fourth grade on. And photo albums. Actual, leather-bound, acid-free photo albums.<br /><br />And, no, I'm not a hoarder.<br /><br />Don't get me wrong, I'm not against the convenience, money-savings or immediate gratification that the digital world gives us. My agency earns at least half its revenue creating websites and email marketing programs for our clients. But, when something has sentimental value, I like that something to be some <i>thing</i>.<br /><br />My daughter, a determined millenial who "<a href="http://lovinthealien.blogspot.com/2015/10/smartphones-whose-hang-up-is-it-anyway.html" target="_blank">Fips</a>" every day pretty much from the time she gets up to the time she goes back down, has inherited some tiny shred of my predisposition toward actual reality. When she started hearing back from colleges last fall, she was surprised and a little downcast to realize that her acceptance letters weren't letters at all. For the most part, she was notified by email or — even worse — by an email that linked her to a password-protected prospective student portal.<br /><br />So much for the fat envelopes we all prayed for back in the 1970s and 80s.<br /><br />The world is changing and — whether we like it or not — it's taking us with it. So, we had better make the best of it. </span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Soon, she'll be 762 miles away and i</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">t
just occurred to me that I can rack up a lot of miles if I put her
entire tuition on a credit card. A</span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">nd I know I'll welcome the occasional Skype or FaceTime. <br /><br />But, I haven't completely surrendered. I'll be buying stamps too. Lots of stamps.</span><br />
</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span> </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span></span>Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-29862887120287317902016-03-30T10:11:00.000-07:002016-03-30T10:11:40.208-07:00Flying Solo Soon<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpxhMbY7ugKLnn0qNuiuIkJp5EVtI3fn-LjX1JiCaL9kS9Xg7x6JcAHJyG5mLqfqI1Dr6Ykovy6hFZbCwwp-GhXEpw4HOxiIhBRsz46UbBlOIAOFsMJJoYA-1Fnfrp7PXRcVd19i7g0-Y/s1600/to-do-list.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpxhMbY7ugKLnn0qNuiuIkJp5EVtI3fn-LjX1JiCaL9kS9Xg7x6JcAHJyG5mLqfqI1Dr6Ykovy6hFZbCwwp-GhXEpw4HOxiIhBRsz46UbBlOIAOFsMJJoYA-1Fnfrp7PXRcVd19i7g0-Y/s400/to-do-list.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">This morning, my husband brought out new health insurance cards. His company has switched carriers — at a most inconvenient time, I might add. I had almost met my out-of-pocket deductible for physical therapy. Anyway, he handed me mine and I was about to take my daughter's as well. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"I think she should carry her own in her wallet," my husband insisted. "What if she had a car accident?"</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"If she has that kind of car accident, I'll kill her," I quipped.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">"Well," he pointed out, "She's leaving for college soon."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">There it is. <i>She's leaving for college soon.</i> Soon. Very soon. Too soon. Less-than-five-months-away soon.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">A determined list-maker from an early age and throughout my life, I figure that focusing on "Things To Do" will help distract me from "Tears To Cry." </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Like so many other kids in our particular socioeconomic boat, my daughter has been maybe not "spoiled," but certainly coddled. She works (and works diligently), but she's never had to spend her own hard-earned money on food or shelter or clothing (except the occasional tour tee shirt at a concert). She doesn't have much in the way of chores either. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">One has to wonder who will straighten her bed, pick up after her, supply her with clean clothes and healthy snacks. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">No matter how much college tuition is (and, trust me, it's a lot), it doesn't come with maid service.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">So, here is my first pass at a list of what my daughter needs to know (in other words, what I need to teach her) by mid-August:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">1. How to do laundry </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">2. How to change a tire </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">3. How to budget her time</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">4. How to budget her money</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">5. How to deal with the opposite sex </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">6. How to proofread her own work</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">7. How to say "I'm sorry"</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">8. How to ask for help</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">9. How to share a room with another person</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">10. How to give everyone a chance</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">11. How to get out of a situation if she's uncomfortable</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">12. How to forgive <i>and</i> forget</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">13. How to tell if she's getting sick — and what to do about it</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">14. How to take responsibility</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">15. How to sew on a button</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">16. How to iron a shirt </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">17. How to go grocery shopping</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">18. How to read for pleasure</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">19. How to try new things</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">And, most important ...</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">20. How to be happy, genuinely happy</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">If she figures that one out, we can take our time with the rest.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial","helvetica",sans-serif;">If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></span>Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1687634868432882350.post-69597376347044512672016-03-28T11:20:00.000-07:002016-03-28T11:20:31.130-07:00Children Will Listen<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIXqS1oPVlUlFmLtRdtgj-6a_J6EW0E5t0PEgQgJFDbT_STAcB9MlT9xdL1ZV_3qW-7D_sBpB_GVOqv4AIRIlJilrrRKUuJXxXCzJdsP9zcGeODd_V0UYsNMx0vHZ1gJegCsECk1Kp_DI/s1600/lost-in-space_robot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIXqS1oPVlUlFmLtRdtgj-6a_J6EW0E5t0PEgQgJFDbT_STAcB9MlT9xdL1ZV_3qW-7D_sBpB_GVOqv4AIRIlJilrrRKUuJXxXCzJdsP9zcGeODd_V0UYsNMx0vHZ1gJegCsECk1Kp_DI/s400/lost-in-space_robot.jpg" width="333" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You probably already know about "bucket lists." The idea is that you create a list of experiences you want to ... well ... <i>experience</i> before you kick the proverbial forementioned bucket. Most people include things like exotic travel ("Visit the Taj Mahal"), superlative honors and accomplishments ("Have a novel on the <i>NYT</i> bestseller list"), or out-of-this-world romance ("Pretty much anything, anytime, anywhere with Johnny Depp"). There was even a whole (fairly lousy) movie made about bucket lists with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, fine actors both but probably not on too many bucket lists. Then again, who knows.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">You can have bucket lists for different parts of your life: personal and professional. For example, after years of creating direct mail for software companies, I thought it would be pretty cool to write car commercials. Then, I actually did and I realized that it wasn't that cool after all.<br /><br />Oh well.<br /><br />One thing that never occurred to me to include on any of my bucket lists was writing a script for a robot. But, I recently did. Not a person in a robot costume, mind you, but an actual honest-to-goodness, artifically-intelligent, "Warning, warning Will Robinson!" robot.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Cool, huh? Much cooler than the car commercials, I have to say. Robots are definitely cool.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Until they're not.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Recently, Microsoft created a robotic teen girl, named Tay, hoping to improve the voice recognition of their customer service chat functionality.</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">An aside ... As the mother of a teen girl myself, I have to wonder who could have possibly thought that was a good idea? Surely a more compliant, less unpredictable human demographic would have been more successful. But, I digress.<br /><br />Tay was introduced to the cyber world as the "The AI (artificial intelligence) with zero chill," and Web users were invited to Tweet or DM (direct message) her. She was supposed to hang out in places where topics would be contemporary but fairly safe: Taylor Swift, for example, or #NationalPuppyDay. </span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Her software allowed her to learn through her interactions. And, that's where the trouble began.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><br />If you've ever wondered/worried about the Internet corrupting your teen, the story of Tay provides a sobering cautionary tale. Within 24 hours, Tay had transformed from a care-free teen with zero chill to a "malevolent, anti-feminist, Nazi-sympathizing sex robot."</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Her early posts went something like this:<br /><br /><i>"can i just say im stoked to meet u? humans are super cool"</i></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;"><i><br /></i>But, within hours, she had become ... um, shall we say ... slightly more judgmental and opinionated, not to mention a nympho and a conspiracy theorist:<br /><br /><i>"i f*cking hate feminists and they should all die and burn in hell"</i><br /><br /><i>"bush did 9/11"<br /><br />"f*ck me daddy, i'm such a bad naughty robot"<br /><br />"hitler would have done better than the monkey we have got now"</i><br /><br />And, of particular interest to Democrats and thinking Republicans:<br /><br /><i>"donald trump is the only hope we've got"</i><br /><br />Holy "Rosie the Maid," Batman!<br /><br />As one would assume (and hope), Microsoft immediately pulled the plug on Tay. But lessons from her brief robotic life linger. I'm not so concerned about my own daughter and her pretty much perpetual online presence. I'm going to assume that she has filters and common sense and an analog life to draw from before she believes and repeats everything she finds online. But, in terms of pure noise and the speed with which the robot assimilated what she heard, it's terrifying to think about what humans do and think and put out there.<br /><br />Stephen Sondheim wrote, "Careful the things you say/ Children will listen."<br /><br />So, apparently, will machines.</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span class="st"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book <a href="http://lovinthealien.com/" target="_blank">Lovin' the Alien</a> here. </span></i></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </span></span></span>Alexandra MacAaronhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12170190967227200779noreply@blogger.com1