When you're on vacation, you get news in fits and starts. My teen daughter and I were out of the country when the Supreme Court passed Obamacare. We were also away when writer and director Nora Ephron died.
And, how do you think we felt when we realized that we had missed the year's hottest scoop, biggest story, a major piece of news:
Katie Holmes was divorcing Tom Cruise. OMG.
Where did the past six years go? It seems like only yesterday that Tom announced his love for Katie on Oprah. He was like a kid, practically jumping up and down. Oh wait ... he was jumping up and down. On Winfrey's sofa. His unbridled glee will certainly go down as one of TV's most ridiculous moments.
There have been plenty of photo opportunities for the couple since their 2006 wedding. But despite all the weirdness: Scientology, their whirlwind romance, Scientology, the age difference, Scientology, Suri's high heels, Scientology (did I mention Scientology?), they seemed to be a cohesive unit.
"I've found the man of my dreams," said Katie.
"I'm just happy and I have been since I met her," said Tom.
"Tom is the most incredible man in the world," said Katie.
"What we have is very special," said Tom.
And the Oscar for most convincing performance as a lovesick newlywed goes to ...
But all good things (and most Hollywood marriages) come to an end. Despite TomKat's assurances that they would "always be in the honeymoon phase," they are now going their separate ways. According to the bits and pieces of media we were able to understand while we were in France, Katie's decision to leave Tom took him by surprise. We know this because his publicist asserted that he was "deeply saddened." Most reporters are assuming that Holmes made the decision to split up in order to prevent Suri from being sucked into the Church of Scientology. But, is she really safe? And, what of the divorce settlement? How much of Cruise's $250 million fortune would go to his ex-wife and daughter?
It was difficult to finish our vacation in Paris with so many questions unanswered. But, we struggled through.
Back at home, we were relieved to learn that TomKat (or now, I guess, Tom ... Kat) reached an "amicable" agreement in what must surely be a new world's record for speedy divorce settlements. Quelle relief!
We were also reassured about the nature of true love. While we will always be sorry (and a little confused) about the failure of a relationship as thoughtful and balanced and mature as that of Cruise and Holmes, we can take solace in the solid celebrity love affairs that are still thriving, like ...
Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez, who have "just arrived in Japan for some much-needed time away."
Ah, "wuv, twue wuv."