Friday, December 21, 2012

The End of the World As We Know It

"I lived through the Mayan Apocalypse and all I got was this lousy t-shirt." Yes folks, it is 12/21/12 and ... we're all still here. What a relief.

I believe there are many things wrong with this world. Let's face it, I think we'd all like a "do over" when it comes to the environment, social justice and such. Nevertheless I'm not quite ready to hang it all up yet. I have faith in the future. Really.

Of course, there are some phenomena to which I could easily say "Ch’abej chik." (That's "good-bye" in the K'iche dialect of the Mayan language family — you gotta love the Internet!)

Here are just a few of them:

My teenage daughter's inability to get up in the morning — despite two insistent alarms followed by two insistent parents.

My teenage daughter's attitude when I try to help her or correct her or teach her or talk to her or drive her places or buy her things or ... or ... or ... well, pretty much all the time.

My teenage daughter's deep-rooted belief that she is the center of the universe and that we are all merely satellites orbiting around her magnificence.

My teenage daughter's perpetual friend drama.

My teenage daughter's incredibly stinky horse laundry and how my car smells every time we leave the stable.

My teenage daughter's selective hearing when it comes to anything we tell her or ask her to do.

My teenage daughter's selective eyesight when it comes to clothes on the floor, unmade beds, or open drawers and closet doors.

My teenage daughter's logical behavior. Like when she comes home famished and simply has to make a packet of ramen noodles because she's "so starving." BUT, when I open her lunchbox, lo and behold, there's an untouched sandwich.

My teenage daughter's insatiable appetite for the latest technology. For YouTube, for Facebook, for Instagram, for texting.

My teenage daughter's — shall we say — "creative" study habits. "But Mo-o-om, I'm multi-tasking."

My teenage daughter's radio stations. Although, now that she's found Pandora, radio stations are so passé. Jeez.

My teenage daughter's stubborn streak and her complete and total refusal to ever ever ever say "I'm sorry," "You were right," or "Thank you." (Unless, that is, she needs or wants something and then her sincerity is sincerely astounding.)

That's right. These are things I could easily do without forever after. Or at least until the next false alarm: be that Rapture, Judgement Day, Armageddon, zombies, aliens, or super novas. And, there are many (oh so many) more. 

And yet, I am truly glad we've made it through. Because, if today had indeed been the end of days, what would I miss?

You guessed it. My teenage daughter.

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