Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Bet We Don't Know Lilo

It's a Lilo, Lilo, Lilo world.

Lindsay Lohan is everywhere today. She's in my news feed not once, not twice, but three times. (And, believe me, it isn't as though I've requested Lohan alerts or anything.) She may not have had a hit role lately, but she hasn't exactly faded from view.

First of all, there's the story about whether she will indeed do jail time for her latest infraction. As part of a plea bargain, she was supposed to spend 90 days in a rehab "lock-down," but logistical issues may make that impossible. (As some media are reporting, the so-called logistical issues may be that the locked-down program she proposed to attend doesn't actually exist. As in, she may have lied. As in, to a judge. As in, "Oh Lindsay!")

The second story is in some ways more complimentary, but goes salaciously downhill almost immediately. Supposedly, Lindsay was very professional on the set of Charlie Sheen's Anger Management, on which she was guest starring. She knew her lines, she arrived on time. (Apparently, this is newsworthy.) Of course, the two tidbits that reporters really jumped on were a prison scene (her character was doing community service there), and a scene in bed with her hot-headed costar Sheen.

Yikes. What a combination!

The third story involves James Franco — not exactly the poster boy for sane behavior, himself (did anyone catch his strung-out, missing-in-action evening as Oscars host?). In a recent interview with shock-jock and all-around pig Howard Stern, Franco confessed that Lohan had tried unsuccessfully to lure him into bed.

As my teenage daughter would text: "TMI" (that's "too much information").

Clearly the girl has issues.

Lindsay Lohan's story makes me sad, as a mother and as a consumer of Hollywood. The first roles I ever saw Lilo in were the two twins in an ill-advised remake of The Parent Trap. The movie was a snore, but the little Lohans were (both) adorable. My daughter watched it many times although even at the age of five or six she knew enough to prefer the 1961 original with Haley Mills. Still the fault didn't lie with Lindsay. She held her own (with herself, but also with Dennis Quaid and Natasha Richardson). She was doubly adorable.

The next time I sat up and noticed her was in Freaky Friday. She did an incredible job channeling Jamie Lee Curtis when an enchanted fortune cookie made them change bodies. The following year, she had the lead role in another better-than-your-average teen film, Tina Fey's Mean Girls. Many moons later, my daughter and her friends still quote these movies and one BFF uses "Regina George" as her text avatar.

Here are a couple of things you probably don't know about Lilo.

She's actually smart. In fact, she was a straight A student as a child. You can still see her intelligence — when she's not shoplifting or driving drunk, of course — as a guest host on SNL.

She may be just 25 years old, but she's had a longer career in front of the camera than most. She was a Ford model at the tender age of 3.

And, she's a solid actress. But, don't take my word for it. Meryl Streep is a fan too. When they worked together on Prairie Home Companion, La Streep had this to say: 

“She’s in command of the art form. Whatever acting is — I don’t know what it is — she’s in command of it. I think she could do anything she puts her mind to.”

I hope Meryl is right, because here's what I'd really like to see in my newsfeed one day soon: "Lohan Getting Critical Acclaim for Latest Role ...

... After Getting Life in Order."

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