15 Going On 16

When I was younger, I used to wish that life could be a Broadway musical. Complete with singing and dancing. Happy times would be ... well ... happier. Sad times would still be sad, but they would be poignant, profound, bittersweet and set to music.

I may not have done much with my drama major, but I still get inspiration from the likes of Stephen Sondheim; Sir Andrew Lloyd Weber and Tim Rice; Lerner and Loewe; and, of course, Rodgers and Hammerstein.

Audible sigh.

In The Sound of Music, young Liesl sings a duet with her crush, delivery boy (soon to be Nazi) Rolf. "16 Going on 17." Later, when the blush wears off that first bloom of love, she gratefully gets advice from new stepmother (former nun) Maria. 

My own teenage daughter is not looking for guidance on matters of the heart quite yet. But, there are other more timely topics that I want to help her with. If only Rodgers and Hammerstein had written that classic song for today's teen ...


(Mom)
You wait, little girl,
Though you think you’re grown.
There’s much that you don’t know now.

Your life little girl,
Has its ups and downs.
But there’s room for you to grow now.

(Teen, aside)
Ugh, here we go now.

(Mom)
You are 15 going on 16.
You think that you’re so cool.
Childhood is gone, iPhone’s always on. 
How do you find time for school?

You are 15 going on 16.
You waste hours on what you’ll wear.
Your idea of fun, is Forever 21.
How can you spend so long on your hair?

Totally unprepared are you
To take your SATs.
College is looming, where are you?
Could you study (please)?

You need someone,
Older and wiser,
Telling you what to do.
I once was 15 going on 16,
I'll be the boss of you.

(Teen)
I am 15 going on 16.
You think that I'm naive.
Truth is I’m ok; it’s covered — yes, way!  
But I can’t make you believe.

I am 15 going on 16. 
Why can’t you let me be?
You just don’t get it. Please stop, don’t sweat it.
I’m on top of it all, you’ll see.

Things aren’t the way they were for you.
The 80s? Really? Please!
Don’t you have something else to do?
Mom, I’m on my knees.

I don’t need someone,
Older or “wiser,”
Telling me what to do.
You are 50 going on 90. 
Mom, you just don’t have …

(Mom)
No, I just don’t have …

(Teen)
Mom, you just don’t have a clue.