My husband has a nickname for me. He has several actually, but the one I'm referring to right now is "Sucker-Mom." It's apt. To use a musical theatre allusion, "I'm just a mom who can't say no."
So when it turned out that Insurgent, the sequel to last year's Divergent, was playing at a small cinema one town over, I didn't just agree to go with my daughter; I suggested it.
At this point (she's seventeen and heading into the home stretch of her junior year of high school), I'll do pretty much anything if it means I get to be in her company. Between the hours she spends at school and the hours she spends at the stable and the hours she spends at concerts and at Bertucci's and Panera with her buds ... well, there ain't too many hours left.
I'm not above bribery either. Shopping sometimes works. (But how many pairs of distressed jeans does she really need? Wait. Don't answer that.)
In this case, I got off pretty easy. Two matinee tickets, two bags of popcorn.
Then again, I had to sit through the movie.
On rottentomatoes.com, which collects movie reviews from all over the country, Insurgent earned a 31%. Out of 148 reviews counted, 102 were ... well ... "rotten."
So, you may ask, what did I think of it? I'm going to tell you. Here are my top ten observations for you.
1. It wasn't as bad as I expected it to be.
2. It moved pretty quickly (which was good, because even though it wasn't as bad as I expected it to be it was still pretty bad).
3. I couldn't figure out who some of the characters were, but since I couldn't figure out what was going on half the time anyway it didn't really matter.
4. Unfortunately, the movie didn't come with a glossary or a cheat sheet, so I was stuck trying to figure out what a "sim" was and which faction was which.
5. Shailene Woodley looks very pretty with short hair. Especially when she's fake crying.
6. Ansel Elgort fake cries better than Shailene Woodley fake cries.
7. It's impossible to watch Four in bed with Tris without thinking of dead Mr. Pamuk in bed with Lady Mary.
8. Despite the general consensus that Divergent and Insurgent were "rotten tomatoes," Sequels Allegiant: Part 1 and Allegiant: Part 2 are already in production.
9. I was often distracted wondering how much they paid Oscar winners and nominees like Kate Winslet, Octavia Spencer and Naomi Watts to be in this thing. (My only conclusion? A lot!)
And, finally ...
10. They never told us what the hippies in Amity were smoking (but I could have used some).
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