Tuesday, November 13, 2012


What is a teenager? Thefreedictionary.com defines it as: a person between the ages of 13 and 19; an adolescent.

I prefer to think of it as a walking contradiction.

It isn't just the emotional roller coaster (although those mood swings can be pretty extreme). I'm talking about the absolute dichotomy between what they say and what they do, what they think and what they feel.

Has your daughter transitioned from tween to teen? Here's a a quick checklist that can help you decide. If your daughter has exhibited any of these twelve traits, you are probably sharing your home with a bona fide teen. (Please keep your arms inside the vehicle at all times.)

Teens remember everything their mom has ever done wrong — and none of the things she's done right.  

Teens can play the most complex video games — but can't figure out how to make their bed.

Teens will complain that they're getting fat — then eat an entire bag of cheesy poofs. Followed by a box of Fruit Roll-Ups.

Teens can hear a text come in from a cell phone buried in a coat pocket inside a closet three rooms away — but they can't hear their mother yelling "Dinner's ready."

Teens will remind you if their allowance is late — but conveniently forget to pay back any money they borrow.

Teens never want your opinion — except when they are looking for a correct answer on their geometry homework.

Teens have to be nagged to take a shower — but once they're in, they don't come out for hours.

Teens are often too tired to do their homework — but never too tired to watch the latest episode of The Lying Game, Switched at Birth or New Girl.

Teens spend an inordinate amount of time and money on how they look — while trying to make it look like they just rolled out of bed.

Teens do not want you to invade their personal space — except when they climb on your lap right before they ask you for something.

Teens treasure their individuality — and, at the same time, they are desperate to fit in. 

And, last but not least, teens may be uncertain in many social situations — but they are absolutely certain that their moms know nothing. 

Hey, it's not as if we were ever teenagers ourselves.

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