Ah, don't you just love small town politics? In a town like ours, fairly affluent, fairly educated, they are particularly ____________. (Insert adjective of your choice: entertaining, frustrating, bewildering, or my recommendation: frrrrrrrkin' mind-blowing.)
Right now, there's a major storm brewing at my daughter's high school. The relatively new principal (it's January; he started in September) is proposing to take away science labs, increase class length, decrease "passing time" in between classes, and change the tech and arts graduation requirements.
Many parents and faculty have issues with all this. How will our children compete in college admissions for science-related courses of study? Can a student who doesn't test well but shines in practical exercises still succeed? Don't AP science students have a minimum lab requirement or else they can't take the test? (News to me.) And, perhaps most important ...
When (oh when) will our children go to the bathroom?
Seriously, most teachers won't let kids leave during class. They (the kids — teachers too, maybe) are expected to use the facilities during passing time. But, with about 1,080 students and 89 faculty and 15 bathrooms and 3 minutes ... well, you do the math.
It isn't funny.
Well, not really anyway.
But it is really, really the most exciting, contentious, dramatic thing that my daughter and her peers have dealt with this year. (Except, of course, for the infamous sports bra incident in November.)
Yesterday, the principal met with all the students, divided into four separate sessions throughout the day. This morning, he presented his plans to about 120 parents, including my husband. Tonight, there will be even more (I'll be there myself with my daughter).
Did I use the word "dramatic?" This is drama. And, the kids are jumping right in.
When my daughter got home yesterday afternoon, we were treated to a line-by-line reenactment of the meeting she had been to. Supposedly the principal didn't treat the kids with much respect. In his defense, they apparently didn't treat him with much either. I don't agree with his plans (or his approach to communicating them; from what I've heard there's a bit of a "my way or the highway" attitude). But, I do think that children, even teenagers — wait, especially teenagers, need to be polite and respectful of their elders, educators and authority figures. As you can imagine, the hashtags, Instagrams and memes circulating this morning are pretty brutal.
On the flipside, I'm proud of my daughter for standing up for her beliefs (hopefully in a respectful manner). In fact, I'm rather floored that a girl who finds it difficult to sit at a cafeteria table with kids she doesn't know, was willing to ask some tough and informed questions of her principal. I want her to take an active role in her education. I want her to push back. I want her to demand her rights. Yes, at times I even want her to "stick it to the man."
Just not in those words, okay?
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October was Breast Cancer Awareness month and a local gym encouraged members to wear sports bras to class in order to raise awareness. No big, right? I wear a sports bra to the local Y every day. But, this was a little different; they wanted women to wear sports bras without a shirt over them.
I read about this and had an immediate reaction ...
So-o-o-o not gonna happen!
Let me count the reasons why: back fat, side fat, above the boob fat, below the boob fat, under the armpit fat. Basically, for my sports bras to be supportive enough to hold up my 51-year old girls for 55 minutes of dancing, they have to be pretty snug. They do their job and they look fine under a tee shirt. That's exactly where they'll stay.
No underwear as outerwear for me, if you please. Move along. Nothing to see here.
I wasn't always so ... um ... shy. In the big 80s, I did a lot of aerobics and, consequently, owned a lot of big 80s workout wear. Yes, I had the suspender leotard, the thong-back leotard, the unitard with the leotard briefs over it, the contrasting elastic belt, the leg warmers. (Thanks to my short hair, I never did the headband thing, thank you very much.) I even had a few choice pieces manufactured and marketed by the "Make it burn" queen herself, Jane Fonda. (And a signed poster, her record album, and eventually her video tapes.)
That was then and this is now.
When the new principal of our high school articulated and threatened to enforce a dress code for the annual "Powderpuff Football" game, my teenage daughter and her friends were up in arms. Apparently, the all-girls game is a long tradition around here (news to me; I went to school in New York City with no football of any kind). And, also apparently, it has become standard practice for the juniors to attend in sports bras.
To the students, this seemed a serious threat to their life, liberty and pursuit of happiness. To me, it seemed like common sense. (Hello? This is New England; we have weather.)
Turns out it was much more. And, as often as I tend to side with the world's downtrodden and the freedom fighters, I have to say that I agree wholeheartedly with the principal's decision.
When it comes to public sporting events that require scant clothing, there are three types of girls. Those who are comfortable and confident (and naturally thin), and wear the prescribed clothing (or lack thereof). Those who go on crash diets, jeopardizing their health, in order to do so. And, those who miss out on the event altogether rather than adhere to the custom. It was for these two last groups that the new policy was articulated.
After complaints from parents, the principal met with representatives of the junior class and it was agreed that the encouraged mode would be tank tops rather than sports bras, and that participating would be optional. No matter how many grumbled (and, trust me, many did), this seemed like a fair compromise and a good way to help the students think about inclusion and sensitivity. It may have also, unintentionally, taught some of the girls about getting around rules they don't like.
To finish the story, the annual Powderpuff Game was held yesterday. We lost to the neighboring town (and arch rival). A portion of the stadium stands collapsed and three girls were hurt (one taken to the hospital with an assumed broken leg).
And in all the pictures of junior girls that I've seen online ...
Tank tops are rolled up, exposing their midriffs and creating, in effect, sports bras.
If you enjoyed this post, order a copy of my new book Lovin' the Alien at www.lovinthealien.com.
