So many of the day-to-day challenges that my teenage daughter and her peers face are new to her generation. Thirty-five years ago, we didn't have smart phones; we didn't have cell phones; we didn't even have "car phones."
If we were lucky, we had an extension phone (my sister's and mine was a pink "princess") in our bedroom. And, we carried dimes in our wallets to use pay phones when we left the house.
Mobile phones, the Internet, social media, texting ... these are all things that are new to the teen experience.
Fake I.D.s? Not so much.
In the Broadway musical Grease, the loving tribute to 1950s high school, good girl Sandy sings:
"I don't even have my corsage, oh gee
It fell down the sewer with my sister's ID"
Borrowing an older sibling's ID, or paying for a forged one, is clearly as old as sock hops and soda fountains. I myself never owned one, but that didn't preclude me from some less-than-legal fake ID behavior.
My first year in college, some of the older students in our dorm were trying to get us to go to the campus pub. "No one checks IDs," they insisted. To prove their point, they chose the whitest, youngest-looking, female freshman (that would be moi) and handed me the student ID of a dorm-mate who was (a) black, (b) a senior, and (c) a man.
And, yes. As you may have guessed, the students working the door at the pub took the ID, looked at it, looked at me, and ... let me in.
'Talk about instilling in all of us a respect for authority and a fear of consequences. Er ... Not!
(It didn't matter much though. I was only there for the music and the pizza and the popcorn. I didn't even like beer. Then or now. But, I digress.)
Since those kinder, gentler days of the mid-1980s, security everywhere has increased: airports, liquor stores, concerts. So has the technology behind official IDs: holograms, bar codes, microchips. While the IDs themselves have become more difficult to counterfeit, the avenues open to fake ID seekers have multiplied. No longer do teens have to count on "a friend's older brother's teammate's contact in the next town over." They can order fake IDs — and quite convincing ones — online. Many of them are manufactured in China.
Recently, some girls in my daughter's senior class decided to obtain said iconic symbols of independence.
(Don't worry, ladies. I'm not naming any names. After all, I trust you. And, I wouldn't want my own infamous pub story to go public. Oh, wait ... too late.)
I think, as senior year winds down, what we're seeing is a uniquely teen combination of boredom and thrill-seeking. Plus, there's the added pressure of fitting in with the crowd. I doubt that any of the teens in our town have trouble getting alcohol if they want it (trust me; it's everywhere), but owning a fake ID is a time-honored right of passage, and with it, in theory, you can go to concerts at 21+ venues.
My only word of caution would be this: fake IDs were always against the law — even for the kids at Rydell High. But, with today's worries about terrorism and identity theft, the scrutiny and potential consequences are higher. If you are caught using a fake ID, you can be charged with a number of crimes. Yes, crimes — not "Call your father to come pick you up at the station," not you're grounded for a week, but actual "crimes."
Laws vary state-by-state, but possessing or using a fake ID can result in anything from a misdemeanor charge and $500 fine, to felony charges of impersonation and forgery that can carry as much as 18 months in prison. If you've altered an official document (changed the date of birth on an actual license, for example), the penalties are worse: up to 7 years in prison for "tampering with a public record." And one fake ID incident can result in charges against multiple people: the person who made the fake ID; the person who bought it; the person who purchases alcohol with it; the underage friends who enjoy it. Even the bar or liquor store that sold the alcohol can face fines and they, in turn, can sue you for damages.
Doesn't this all sound a little complicated? And absolutely not worth it?
I get it, I truly do. When I was 18, I thought it was really cool that a bunch of seniors wanted to hang out with me, not to mention really funny that I could get into the pub with someone very different's ID.
Maybe it isn't fair that we could get away with pranks like that in the 80s, but kids today can't. Sorry.
So, my dear young adults, if you have a fake ID, please don't use it. No beer, no fruity cocktail, no concert is worth it. Tuck it away in your yearbook ...
With your other high school mementos.
If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book Lovin' the Alien here.
My ad agency worked with an interesting client a few years ago. They were in the hazardous waste industry and manufactured a handheld raman laser spectrometer.
Don't worry. I don't for a minute expect you to understand what that is (my creative team and I certainly didn't until we were charged with marketing it). But, essentially, you can point it at an unknown substance and within minutes, know the chemical makeup of it. So, for example, you would know whether what looked like a harmless bottle of spring water was really filled with some other clear liquid. Bug poison, for example.
Or vodka.
If I didn't know how severely underfunded my daughter's public high school is, I would suggest that they buy one. It might make all our lives easier.
But, I'm getting ahead of myself.
Time flies. The snow has finally melted (except in the parking lots at the local grocery store and YMCA, where they had plowed it into mountains, which have yet to disappear). Three of the four quarters of my daughter's junior year are behind us. Successfully, thank goodness. And ...
We are only a couple of weeks from prom.
OMG.
The tough parts are behind us. Finding the right dress, waiting for a "promposal" (spectacular, btw, watch for details in a post to come). The next step on the road to junior prom is the paperwork.
And there's a significant amount of it.
This afternoon, my daughter brought home a very serious-looking document. On official school letterhead (and for some reason, printed on blue paper, maybe to prevent its being lost in the abyss known as the backpack), is our "Permission Slip to Attend Junior Prom."
If you think I'm exaggerating as to the serious nature of this communique, let me excerpt it for you here:
Policies, Procedures, and expectations for all students and their Guests:
• All students who are attending the junior prom are expected to be in school the day of the prom
• All students and guests should be at the high school by 5:30 pm
• Please do your best to carpool to the high school, the parking lot will be crowded
• All students and guests must check in at the school and ride the bus to and from the prom
• Be prepared to have purses and pockets searched (no backpacks allowed)
• Be prepared to be subject to random breathalyzer
• No guests allowed who are 21 or older
• Any guest who is 18 or older and not enrolled in high school must be CORI checked
• All students and their guests must board the bus when directed to do so, to return to the high school
All students and their guests are expected to behave in a manner that shows respect for themselves and others. Students who violate this policy will be asked to leave the prom. The student's legal guardian(s) will be called and must come pick up the student and guest immediately. All school rules and consequences apply. Smoking and tobacco are NOT allowed.
There's then a place for my daughter to print and sign her name. Then, there's a separate special message for her father and me:
To the Legal Guardian:
I understand that my son/daughter is attending the Junior Prom. Should he/she engage in behavior that is not in accordance with the rules and regulations, I will be called and expected to pick up my son/daughter immediately. If I am unable to be reached, my child will be placed in protective custody with the police until I can be contacted. If there is a medical emergency, a chaperone will accompany my son/daughter to the nearest hospital.
And at this point, we sign and provide a phone number where we can be reached during the event itself. There's a final asterisked warning to all of us:
* A prom ticket cannot be purchased until this form has been returned
Okay. Now, I do understand that prom nights have historically been notorious for underage drinking. Friends of mine (who didn't grow up in midtown New York) have told me about classmates who had serious accidents, in some cases died, driving home from a less rigorously supervised prom. I really do want my daughter and her peers to be safe.
But, I can't help feeling that this is taking things a little too far. "Subject to a random breathalyzer?" Really?
It worries me no end that my daughter and her classmates are treated as though they're already guilty and must constantly prove their innocence. Take it from a native New Yorker, this is a fairly sleepy little town. I don't think there is much going down in the way of truly dangerous delinquent behavior. The bulk of the student body is too busy playing field hockey, rounding out their college resumes with community service and studying for their SATs. As far as drugs are concerned, I wouldn't be surprised if some of the students are on anti-anxiety meds, but not much else.
Then again, I guess I should be grateful. Really. I mean most kids in juvie probably don't get to have a junior prom.
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