My teenage daughter just sent me an urgent text from her study hall at the high school. The fan fell out of her tail and a piece broke off and her bird had deflated.
OMG!
No, my daughter doesn't imbibe in hallucinogenic mushrooms (as far as I know). And this isn't some secret code; we're not in the CIA.
My daughter and most of her class went to school today as ostriches. They ordered inflatable costumes en masse. I had some issues with the whole thing. (Does this surprise anyone? It certainly didn't surprise my daughter; she's definitely used to my issues by now.)
All right, first of all, how was this creative? Halloween gives kids an opportunity to flex those neglected artistic muscles. Pre-made costumes? Not so much.
Next, how does it allow anyone to express individuality? Everyone is wearing the same thing!
Finally, the ridiculous contraption (the quality of which, as I've already pointed out, is not particularly long-lasting) cost about $40. What about the kids who don't have four ten-spots lying around? Or pushover parents?
At any rate, like most of my convictions, this one wasn't great enough to preclude my daughter participating. So, we dutifully ordered, paid for and picked up her ostrich. She went off to school this morning with her friend from next door, both armed with deflated ostrich costumes. They would blow them up at school. Which brings us back to the beginning of my post and the trauma for today.
Like most seventeen year-olds, my daughter stopped trick-or-treating a while ago. But, I have fond memories of her costumes through the years.
She was just six weeks old when we celebrated her first Halloween. Like countless contemporaries, she was ... a pumpkin. (Uh-h, what was I just saying about creativity and individuality? Hmmmm.)
At age one, she was Pooh Bear. My husband and I spent that Halloween in New Orleans at the Anne Rice Ball (talk about creative and individual outfits!). My mother came up to babysit and took lots of Pooh pictures for us.
By two, my daughter was a big fan of the Teletubbies. She was LaLa, the yellow one. (I never really understood the Teletubbies. Then again, I don't smoke weed.)
At three, she couldn't choose between a fairy, a princess or a kitty. So, with a decidedly "more is more" approach (which, I might add, has stayed with her), she dressed as a "Fairy Princess Kitty." She was a veritable vision of pink glitter, let me tell you. She practically reeked of "girly-girl."
Subsequent years included Alice in Wonderland and Madeline, a green-faced witch (we had just seen Wicked on Broadway), and a "cat burglar" (all black, including a mask and a watchman's cap plus a pillow case full of stuffed cats). Then, we went into the horse years. In addition to dressing up as an equine herself, she was alternately a horse fly, a headless horsewoman, and the "ghost rider of dead man's gulch." I loved that particular costume. She wore a cowboy outfit, ghoulish make-up, and we wrapped her in spider webs.
I miss those years, the pretty, the pink, the ponies. Too old to trick or treat, now she and her friends "hang out."
And, they dress up like ostriches.
You'll be happy to know that I received a follow-up text. My daughter found the missing piece, re-inflated her bird and went off to Physics.
I guess it will be a Happy Halloween after all.
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I love Halloween. Not the ghosts and ghouls and things-that-go-bump-in-the-night part of it, but all the dressing up. As a former drama major, I welcome any reason to put on a costume.
My husband and I, along with another couple, recently bought tickets for a masquerade ball in an antique mansion in our New England town. The party was sponsored by the local Arts Association, and we heard through the grapevine that they were going all out with decorations, refreshments and entertainment. It was scheduled for the Saturday night before Halloween. This meant that the Saturday morning before Halloween I started pulling out costumes.
Story of my life, sadly. Everything I do these days could be described as "just in time manufacturing."
Anyway, we have a trunk of dress-up bits in our cellar. Fancy gloves and costume jewelry, fairy wings, wigs, and elaborate feathered masks from New Orleans' French Market. Our plan was to take an elegant, minimalist approach. My husband would wear his wedding tuxedo. (Yes, he still fits in it, 21 years later. Suffice it to say, zipping myself into my wedding gown would be frightening.) I would wear a long embroidered Chinese coat. We would both wear the aforementioned feather masks.
Er, or not. When we pulled them out, they looked a little sad and bedraggled. On to Plan B.
The masks were a crucial piece of our costumes (let's face it, they were our costumes), so after an hour at the local Y, I drove to a Halloween "pop-up shop" in a neighboring town.
(Quick aside: Saturday was also the annual costume Zumba class. We were all supposed to dress as popular musicians. I was the only Bob Marley in a sea of Gagas. But, I digress.)
I quickly found an entire aisle of Venetian Carnvial masks. They were gorgeous and quite reasonably priced. I chose a long-beaked "Naso Scaramouche" in black with gold patina for my husband and a silver brocade, trimmed with lace and rhinestones for myself. Mission accomplished.
Almost.
Trying to get in and out of a Halloween store on the Saturday before said holiday was easier said than done. It took me less than five minutes to choose the masks. It took me another 35 to get through the long line that snaked along the perimeter of the shop. I went by an aisle of adorable baby costumes (bees, lady bugs, pumpkins), by another filled with creepy decorations and animated lawn ornaments. Then, I hit trick or treat pay dirt.
The aisle of Halloween hoochies and hos.
WTF? I had arrived in the land where less is truly more. As in: less fabric, more skin. The typical costume included a bare-midriff or corset top; a short, short (short, short) skirt; and some combination of fishnet stockings, long gloves, garters, a headpiece and/or wings. It was like Halloween with The Girls Next Door at the Playboy Mansion. (Every package, btw, featured a pretty, pouting model who looked 16, exactly my daughter's age.)
There were sexy nurses, sexy vampires, sexy fairies, sexy superheroes, sexy gypsies, sexy pirate wenches. Then there were the sexy animals. Some that made sense (in a warped way), like sexy kittens, foxes and bunnies. Some that didn't, like sexy penguins. Sexy penguins???
Last, but not least, there were the sexy inanimate objects. Sexy crayons, sexy beer bottles, sexy pizza slices, and my all-time favorite: sexy candy corn.
Because nothing says “Happy Halloween” like a sexy piece of candy corn.
I understand that the whole thrill behind wearing a costume is that it gives you a chance to put on another piece of your personality. But why do so many of the options for teen girls feel more like taking off than putting on?
In one of my favorite scenes from the Sex and the City movie, Carrie joins Miranda to shop for costumes and trick or treat candy. Miranda looks at her options with disdain; the only choices for a grown woman: “Witch or sexy kitty?”
Sexy kitty, sexy penguin, they’re all pretty much the same. I’d rather be a witch.
And — thank goodness — my daughter would too.
If you enjoyed this post, order a copy of my new book Lovin' the Alien at www.lovinthealien.com.
