Friday, May 27, 2016

Promises, Promises, Prom

I have a dream. Someday, when I'm long gone, my daughter will look back and count her blessings that she had me for a mother. I mean, I didn't get anything terribly wrong, right? She's already told me (and I'll be happy to remind her in years to come) that I didn't push my opinions on her too much during the college search process. And (get this!) she "appreciates it." I've been there beside her through wrapping paper fundraisers, standardized test prep, polo lessons, science fair projects, social media predicaments, mean girl encounters. I've stocked our pantry with cheese poofs and cookie dough, orange soda and mozzarella sticks.

For heaven's sake, I bought her a pony!

But, the thing I think I'm most satisfied about is that I set a good example in terms of what women can and should be allowed to achieve. She knows that she comes first but she also knows that my work is a very close second. I'm proud to say that she has never seen me take on less than a leadership role in business. I promised myself that I would not raise a pretty little girly-girl — unless, of course, she turned out to be a pretty little girly-girl who could kick some serious butt in whatever endeavor she pursues.

None of this though will matter one bit if she looks back on my talents for — I should say my utter ineptitude at — the traditionally girly-girl business of prom. 

Yes, it's that time again. The P-word. Prom. 

Here is how we have spent the past few days (and yes, I'm still running an ad agency before, during, and after all this) ...getting her legs waxed, getting her dress shortened, finding an elusive, adhesive, strapless, backless push-up bra (Saks Fifth Avenue and they don't come cheap), scheduling an up-do, choosing rhinestone jewelry, administering a rather sketchy mani-pedi, and coordinating a photographer friend so she can have a portrait taken — in full regalia prom attire — with her horse.

This morning, we had the extra-fun bonus of trying to remove a henna tattoo (compliments of EarthFest, Boston, last week). For the record, toothpaste, baby oil, hydrogen peroxide, rubbing alcohol and nail polish remover don't work; bleach does. Yes, I soaked my daughter's hand in bleach. 


Quick, call Social Services. 

But, suddenly, she's off! A quick stop at the stable to get her trusty steed ready for tomorrow's two-phase equestrian event — good-bye mani-pedi — and she'll be in countdown prom prep mode in earnest. 

We expect her back here at 4:00. (That gives me about half an hour for any last-minute repairs, pins, duct tape, prayers.)

Pictures with friends at the beach are on for 5:00. (Last year, we forgot the camera battery. We have already checked it twice.)

The red carpet is at 6:00. (She is walking with a last-minute girl-friend. The last-minute boy-friend she was supposed to walk with is on another bus and the prison guards — er, I mean, school administrators — won't let them switch buses so they can walk together. Sorry, but WTF?)

Buses leave at 6:30. (After they administer mandatory breathalyzers. I'm not kidding. I wish I was kidding. But, I'm not kidding.)

Drinks with another prom mom at 7:00. (I'll be the exhausted one at the bar with no make-up, sweats and red nail polish stains, nursing the pinot grigio.)

Hopefully, the high school won't send in the breathalyzers. 
 

If you've enjoyed this post, I invite you to order the book Lovin' the Alien here.   

4 comments:

  1. Confront your cheating spouse with evidence, i was able to spy on my cheating ex phone without finding out.....it really helped me during my divorce ...you can contact (CYBERHACKTON@GMAIL.COM) call and text (916) 302-2234 for spying and hacking social networks, school servers, icloud and much more, viber chats hack, Facebook messages and yahoo messenger, calls log and spy call recording, monitoring SMS text messages remotely, cell phone GPS location tracking, spy on Whats app Messages, his services are cheap.. and please tell him i referred you to him he is a man with a heart of GOLD.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hire a hacker with expertise in python, code writings, website sql, penetration testing and supreme hacker skill for your discrete hack jobs such as email hack, facebook hack, ddos attacks, website hack, cyber espionage, remote hacks, server admin hacks, locating missing people, bakcground checks, phone taps, signal jams and remote traffic control hackware amongst other hack tool up for sale, also offering discrete young and beautiful escort services anywhere in the world, cyber security service, seo development, credit card top ups, money laundering services, bitcoin mining and investments, stolen eth for sale, and many more contact
    blackrazor@protonmail.com
    Text or WhatsApp: +16319929305
    Regards

    ReplyDelete
  3. If you know you not ready for a relationship why get into one and still cheat and liar. I was dying inside for my cheating wife, i had no prove, no one to run to. Everyone thought i was paranoid. until i was referred to a Private Investigator  Mr James . I told him about my situation and He understood me well and helped me spy on my wifes iphone.He hacked her Gmail and Facebook account and linked all her WhatsApp and phone conversation to me, to find out the truth.I saw all the evidence and i was heart Broken,I just want to openly say thank you Mr James for helping me get evidence against her,i feel so hurt. If you need help please contact him (Worldcyberhackers@gmail.com) via email. 

    ReplyDelete
  4. Are you having a very low FICO score, and are desperate for a perfect and urgent fix? I confidently recommend CYBER CREDIT GURU. They cleared all negatives, late payments and collections from my credit report and boosted my FICO score from 505 to 800 excellent score, across all three bureaus within four days. CYBER CREDIT GURU does a very neat and perfect job without leaving any form of trace behind. You can give them a trial today and I bet you will never regret it. Contact: CYBERCREDITGURU (AT) GMAIL DOT COM or phone/text: +1 (650) 239 7249

    ReplyDelete