Friday, February 24, 2012

Sh*t Tweens Say

"Sh*t _________ say."

Have you seen those online videos that are circulating right now? There are versions for New Yorkers, Bostonians, Girlfriends, Hipsters, Yuppies, Gay Guys ... pretty much any group you can think of that has its own idiosyncratic language.

Basically, you take a video camera and record your friends (homely cross-dressing guys are fairly popular in these things), reciting all of the clich├ęs common to the group you are depicting. Then, you edit them together with quick cuts back and forth so the result is a rapid-fire stream of sayings.

The good ones ring true. The bad ones are ... well ... bad. In this day and age, anyone with a smart phone and access to a PC is a filmmaker. Who needs to go to UCLA or NYU?

Well, I have an iPhone. I have a laptop with iMovie. So, I'm thinking of making my own version. It's entitled, "Sh*t Tweens Say." Here's the script:

"I don't have any homework."

"That teacher hates me."

"Um, I need you to sign this ..."

"It's soooooooo unfair!"

"My room IS clean."

"Please five more minutes."

"Why can't I do my homework during New Girl?"

"No you dint!"

"You're ruining my life!"

"Why do I have to make my bed?"

"No one else has to."

"I need $5 for Starbucks."

"Just give me a twenty and I'll bring you change."

"You owe me money anyway."

"Why are you yelling at me?"




"You don't get it."

"You don't understand."

"You never said that!"

"Why are you making such a big deal out of this?"

"I forgot, okay?"

"I'm sorry, okay?"

"Waitaminute, I'm texting."

"Will you please try and not embarrass me."

"Will you please not say anything."

"Will you please stop posting on my Facebook page."

"Did you move my stuff?"

"Get out of my life!"

"That book is soooooooo boring."

"That class is soooooooo boring."

"I don't need a coat."

"I don't need a scarf."

"I don't need gloves."

"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, you're sooooooo annoying!"

You get the idea.

Yes, I have all the electronics to turn my movie into a reality. However, I also have a life — a life that's rather too busy already, thank you very much. So, while I'm no doubt missing my fifteen minutes of Internet fame, I will not be making a "Sh*t Tweens Say" video after all.

However, if you would like to experience the live action version, feel free to stop by my house. We sooooooooooooo have continual showings here.


  1. I am following the blog hop and I am now your latest GFC follower myw1ldcraylife. I hope you can drop by and follow me as well

  2. Thanks, I'm following you now too (those rolls look delicious!).

  3. LOL! My daughter is only four so I have a few years!! Found you via the blog hop and am following you now! Nice to meet you! If you'd like to visit my place go here: Bliss Habits

  4. lol, and the funny part is it hardly changes until the mid twenties.

    But the good news is you can always print this out and give it to them when their children turn to pre-teens.


  5. I don't know how to tell you this, I don't want to break your heart, or ruin your life but someone needs to tell you, It gets worse! I'm sorry it does,It gets so bad you wonder why you didn't just stay on birth control! I've been through it completely 3 times and have 3 more teenagers left. It does get better, girls around 18 boys around 20. I really hate the I forgot one!As in I forgot I was suppose to clean my room/feed the dogs etc. Yet they can remember at 3 you held their brother for 2 seconds longer than them! I'm Natalie from and I'm your new follower!

  6. Great! I have heard most of them. My favorite is , mom just 5 more minutes!
    On xbox that is.
    Everything is unfair.