Wednesday, December 3, 2014

What To Say To (Really) Annoy Your Teen

This afternoon, as per usual, I picked my teenage daughter up a couple of blocks from her high school. We went through the usual meaningless chit chat. 

"How was school?" 

"How's your cold?"

"How's your homework sitch?"

She told me that she was planning to "spin right out" and head to the stable. I quickly responded that the stable was fine with me, but I didn't like the idea of her "spinning out." She even more quickly pointed out that I'd made the same lame joke yesterday. "It isn't funny anymore," she said.

"You didn't think it was funny the first time!" I answered. Ha! Got her. Sort of. Um. Nevermind. At any rate, it led me to thinking about all the annoying things she hears from me day in and day out. 

Lovin' the Alien is usually written from my perspective and focuses on the trials and tribulations of being a teen's mother. Today, I'll give her equal time and highlight some of the trials and tribulations of being a teen's mother's teen.

In no particular order, here are the things that I say each day that probably — all right, definitely — drive her nuts ...

"Good morning."

"Put down your phone."

"How many times do I have to tell you ... ?"

"How did everyone else do on the test?"

"Put down your phone."

"Drive safe."

"Text me when you get there."

"Did you see what I posted on Facebook?"

"Have you started studying?"

"Have you finished studying?"

"Put down your phone."

"You may not believe this, but I was seventeen once too."

"You need to wear a scarf."

"Don't leave your jacket on the floor."

"Why don't you see if your friends want to come over here for a change?"

"I love you."

"Put down your phone."

"Good night."

"Did you finish your homework?"

"Why does everything have to be so dramatic?"

"Why aren't you and whatshername friends anymore?"

"Who are you texting?"

"Put down your phone."

"You wouldn't be so tired if you went to bed earlier."

"No, you can't have any more cookie dough and ice cream."

"Bring the bowl from the cookie dough and ice cream down from your room, please."

"Once and for all, PUT DOWN YOUR PHONE!"

And, the ever timeless ... "Because I said so. That's why."

If you enjoyed this post, I invite you to order a copy of Lovin' the Alien at  

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