Hollywood's Bottom Line is Biased, Big-Time

They say World War III will be fought digitally.

Think about it. If someone could hack into the Department of Defense or hospitals or nuclear power plants or every major bank, we would be crippled. Until that happens, we'll have to settle for nude pictures stolen from celebrities and ill-advised email rants. 

If you've been watching the news lately, you've heard a lot about the recent security breach at Sony Pictures. Stars' aliases are out there now (Jude Law is "Mr. Perry," Natalie Portman is "Lauren Brown"). Unreleased films may or may not have been leaked. And, Angelina Jolie was referred to as “a minimally talented spoiled brat.” It's all very entertaining. 

Well, maybe not to Angelina.

What bothers me most is the monetary gender divide that's surfaced. It's no secret that men make more money than women — not just in Hollywood but across all industries. But, now through the leaked emails, there's very specific proof that movie studios are compensating their male stars more than their female ones.

According to an email stream between top executives at Sony and Columbia Pictures, the director and five stars of last year's American Hustle were given backend deals as follows:

David O. Russell, 9 points
Christian Bale, 9 points
Bradley Cooper, 9 points
Jeremy Renner, 9 points

Do we see a pattern here? Now, let's take a look at the film's celebrated actresses:

Amy Adams, 7 points
Jennifer Lawrence, 7 points

Ah, there's a pattern here too. For the record, both women were nominated for Academy Awards. So it wouldn't appear that their performances were in any way sub-par. In case you're wondering just how significant (or in-), a two-point (which means two percent) spread is, the movie has earned more than $250 million worldwide.

Whoa.

This discrepancy isn't limited to the talent in front of the cameras either. The hacked documents included a spreadsheet of 6,000 Sony employees and their salaries. Out of the seventeen who earned more than $1,000,000 a year, only one was a woman. And, a co-president of production for Columbia Pictures, she makes nearly a million less than her counterpart, someone who does exactly the same job but happens to have a penis.

Sorry, I'm pissed.

The actresses (and other under-paid Sony employees involved) haven't said much yet. My hope is that their silence is the result of good counsel from attorneys. My hope is that they're getting ready to sue.

And, if that happens, if Jennifer and Amy become the Lily Ledbetters of Tinseltown, I'll be the first to applaud the hackers for a job well done. Certainly, shedding light on gender inequality wasn't their objecctive. But what a wonderful byproduct.

We live in a digital world, and online reputations — personal and professional — are easily damaged and difficult to rebuild. Eventually some evil programming wunderkind may start WWIII.

Until then, can't we please stop the war on women?

If you enjoyed this post, I invite you to order a copy of Lovin' the Alien at www.lovinthealien.com.  

Most News is No News, 2013's Biggest Non-Stories

When my now teenage daughter was little, I tried to shield her from the news. 

In my opinion (and personal experience) most of the news on TV is designed for two purposes, neither of which is to make us intelligent or informed. Televised news stories get the networks more eyeballs ("Stay tuned for exclusive fast-breaking story available only here at WXYZ, your local authority on all news, all the time ... blah blah blah.") and/or to get the owners of those eyeballs to buy anti-anxiety medication from pharmaceutical company sponsors. 

Yep, I'm a wee bit cynical about it. And not just because I love the movie Broadcast News either. But, of course, I do!

As any parent paying any kind of attention will tell you, shielding our kids from pretty much anything is a losing battle. When the twin towers fell on 9/11, my daughter's preschool sent home a note. They would not address the terrorist attacks in class. If we chose to at home, they asked that we impress upon our children that they not bring it up among their playmates. The very next day, I walked in and saw an elaborate construction (or deconstruction) project in the center of the Pre-K floor. Skyscrapers of blocks were under attack by toy airplanes as little dolls dove to their death.

Clearly all the children had been shielded from the news. Yeah, right.

My daughter is still not very interested in the news (unless it arrives via text from a friend), but she does learn about current events in various classes. We have political discussions at dinner. She has actually been known to look at a newspaper. Yes, a paper one, really. But, I still prefer not to have the nightly news on. Not because of real stories: the Boston Marathon Bombing, the Papal Congress, the war in Syria, nuclear missile threats. Not because of important political issues: gun control, the Affordable Health Care Act, the Federal Government furlow. 

No, I can't abide the news because of all the manufactured trash.

I'm not talking about magazine shows on entertainment channels. I'm talking about national news. This year, in particular, we have made mountains out of not-exactly-newsworthy molehills. Some of the biggest headlines are just plain laughable. Haircuts? Tweets? Twerking?  

Here are my Top 10 So-Not-News Stories for 2013. Let's take a quick trip down recent memory lane ...

10. Jennifer Lawrence's haircut. OMG! Stop the frrrrkin' press. A haircut! Whoa. 

9. Miley Cyrus showing off her buff and barely legal body in  her nude video "Wrecking Ball." In a way, it's a shame. I actually like the song. Then again, if I looked like that, maybe I'd want to show and share too.

8. Toronto Mayor Robert Ford who admitted to smoking crack "probably in one of my drunken stupors," and went on to quite explicitly describe why he didn't need to eat out. Um ... Mr. Ford, TMI, baby. TMI.

7. Miley Cyrus twerking with giant toy teddy bears and Robin Thicke on the MTV Video Music Awards. The performance was ridiculous and arguably inappropriate — and drove more than 300,000 tweets a minute. Say what?

6. The Royal Baby. Okay, I confess that I was caught up in all the Wills and Kate pregnancy drama. And, I was really hoping for a girl. She would have been the first female heir to the throne by her own worth, not because she happened to be brotherless. Ah. Maybe next time.

5. Miley Cyrus and her public feud with Sinead "I'm saying this in a maternal way" O'Connor. Ladies, ladies. Can't you agree to disagree (and agree that either way, there's no such thing as bad publicity)?

4. Paula Deen's n-word. Is it cool that her down-home Southern charm included a heaping helping of good old-fashioned racism? Of course not. But do what you need to do (fire her, boycott her, whatever) and move along already.

3. Miley Cyrus and her break-up with fiancé Liam Hemsworth. In an interesting confluence of not-really-news news, Hemsworth plays Gale in the wildly successful Hunger Games movie franchise. In it, he's the hometown honey of one Katniss Everdeen, portrayed by non other than Jennifer Lawrence who ... wait for it ... got a new haircut! OMG!

2. Kim and Kanye (or anyone else related to a particular K-family that we all know, although I for one am not sure why). 

And, of course, while she may have lost to His Holiness for TIME's Person of the Year, the biggest winner as far as column inches (or whatever the Internet's equivalent is) was, you guessed it:

1. Miley Cyrus. This young lady won the non-news lottery. She's the one we love. She's the one we hate. In 2013, she's the one laughing ... all the way to the bank.

'Hope you had a very Miley Christmas and best wishes for a twerktastic New Year.

Pass the Popcorn: The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Let me start this post by quoting my teenage daughter.

"Hunger Games: Catching Fire. I'm speechless."

She did find her voice a moment later, though, and declared it "Frrrrrrrrrrrrkin' brilliant."

My daughter, like teens everywhere from what I'm told, is a rather impatient young person. So, when The Hunger Games: Catching Fire opened last week, she had to see it right away. Right! Away!

However ... my daughter, like teens everywhere, is also not very skilled at planning ahead. So, while it was never a question that she would see Catching Fire on its opening day (if not a sneak preview screening the night before), it became very much a question when our town's tiny cinema was sold out. Sold! Out!

Enter her dear mamma, a.k.a. the enabler. I found seats at a larger multiplex a few towns away. Word spread and I was suddenly putting several tickets on my American Express. The initial plan was that we would drive the eager fans to the theatre, then have a nice dinner somewhere. Another parent was slated to pick them up.

The odds were never in our favor.

Turned out there were too many teens (and not enough seatbelts). Only one adult would be able to go. It also turned out that the game plan had changed. We were now on call for pick-up, not drop-off. My husband marched around in self-righteous indignation, and then settled in for a casual dinner and some DVR catch-up before heading off to retrieve the moviegoers at 10:00 pm. (Father of the Year Award, anyone?)

I was already half asleep when my family returned, but I heard all about the film the next day. In fact, in an act of extremely effective manipulation, my daughter coerced me into buying another round of tickets, this time for the two of us. "I can't wait for you to see it," she cooed. "You're going to lo-o-o-o-ove it." We'd seen the first Hunger Games together, and she didn't hesitate to play the 'it's our tradition, Mom' card. Was I fooled by her sudden interest in my happiness? Of course not. Did I buy the tickets? Of course.

We were supposed to see this wonder of modern moviemaking Sunday night. Imagine my surprise when she came to me Friday with another request. A different set of friends were going that evening. Could she go? Oh, and by the way, could I put the tickets on my charge card? As per usual, I was the best mother in the world ... for about twenty minutes.

To give credit where credit is due, when it finally was my turn to see Hunger Games: Catching Fire, I had to agree that it is an excellent movie. Jennifer Lawrence is the real deal — a fine actress, an apparently down-to-Earth young woman, and the star of a gazillion dollar Hollywood franchise. The movie was exciting and surprisingly well-written. I actually enjoyed it. My daughter, round three, was (again) enthralled. 

The thing is, I remember being so completely obsessed with movies. I saw the Who's Tommy several times when it came out (I won't say when), and my theatre friends and I went to the midnight showing of Rocky Horror every single Saturday for over a year. Who am I to throw stones? (Rice, maybe, playing cards, maybe, but not stones.)

When it comes to my daughter getting what she wants from me, the odds are always in her favor.

If you enjoyed this post, order a copy of my new book Lovin' the Alien at www.lovinthealien.com.