Take a Texts Test

Quick (SAT-inspired) quiz for you.

Acronyms are to texts as ...

A. Peas are to pod

B. Beers are to 6-pack

C. Texts are to teens

D. All of the above

Whether you sneak peeks at your teen's texts (please don't), or you just want your teen to think you're hip, it helps to have a handle on the latest or at least greatest acronyms. Nothing screams "square parental unit" like typing out your message using individual words. 

And, if you really want to seem like a dud, take the time to spell them correctly.

Some text acronyms are already ubiquitous. ("You don't know what OMG means? OMG!") But others are a little trickier. In a few cases, you have to have some fluency in teen slang before you can possibly dissect the corresponding acronym.

What tangled texts teens weave!

To keep you on your texting toes (and to kill a few minutes if you're supposed to be working), here's a quick quiz:

 

1. OOTD 

A. Out of the door

B. Outfit of the day 

C. Off of the dock

D. Open our texts, dork-face

 

2. KOTD 

A. Kiss off, tough dude

B. Kicks of the day 

C. Kind of tired, daddy-o 

D. Kept out till dawn

3. HMU 

A. Hate my umbrella

B. Hot make-up

C. Hit me up 

D. Have my underwear?

4. TBH 

A. To be honest 

B. Too brutally honest

C. Tough boogers, honey

D. Truly beautiful hair

5. TBR  

A. Totally boring read

B. Thanks, brother

C. Think before rant

D. To be rude

6. OOMF  

A. One of my friends

B. Out of my Frappuccinos

C. One of my followers

D. Off of my feelings

7. BAE 

A. Baby 

B. Boys are exceptional

C. Big ass exam

D. Been away in England

8. WCW  

A. World Cup Wrestling

B. Woman Crush Wednesday

C. Worrying can wait 

D. What cats want

9. TMI

A. Take my ice cream

B. Totally max image 

C. Tough macho ignoramus

D. Too much information

10. RN  

A. Real nice

B. Registered nurse

C. Right now

D. Regular news

Hope this was helpful or at least made you LOL.

Answer key: 1B; 2B; 3C; 4A; 5D; 6C; 7A; 8B; 9D; 10C

If you enjoyed this post, I invite you to order a copy of my book  Lovin' the Alien at www.lovinthealien.com. 

Fuck, Yeah!

Two days ago, I posted a video on my Facebook page. Since then, I've had a number of readers ask if I'm going to blog about it. 

I hadn't planned to because what could I say that hadn't already been said — and fabulously — by the video's creators themselves? Then, I saw Deborah Norville discussing it on Inside Edition with clips of everyone from conservative politicos to Fox News to Mrs. Ozzy Osbourne raging about it. (Really, like the Osbournes are the poster family for etiquette and decency?)

So, I figured I should put in my two cents too.

If you've been away from your television (or social media) this week and consequently haven't seen the much bally-hooed video yet, I'm talking about "F-Bombs for Feminism: Potty-Mouth Princesses Use Bad Words For Good Cause," produced by FCKH8. You can watch it here. In case you can't tell yet, I highly recommend it.

It does, of course, warrant a big old NSFW warning.

But, should it?

Champions of the video have applauded its sensational tactics, as well as the big "Duh!" message behind them. Opponents have been vocal too, through formal media channels as well as online. The level of anger and hate is considerable:

I'd love to say I'm shocked, but nothing about feminism shocks me anymore. Between throwing around skewed statistics, constantly crying "victim" and, even worse, "rape" every time somebody disagrees with them. Now I can add exploiting children to the long, long list of screwed up feminist tactics. Thanks, fckh8, for, somehow, stooping lower than your sisters.

All right, this man (of course, it's a he not a she) has bigger issues than the video.

One relatively calm reporter asserted that the video would make other children learn the word "Fuck" and then use it because it looks like so much fun.

Okay, can we be real here just for a minute? Does anyone honestly believe that kids — onscreen or watching — haven't heard the f-bomb before? Out of curiosity, I asked my teenaged daughter if she remembers the first time she heard it. She doesn't. Not because we refrain from the profane. More like she heard it so early (and often) that it predates her memory.

BTW, she's doing just fine.

And fuck is just a word. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck.

The point of the scandalous video is summed up in this line: “So what is more offensive… A little girl saying fuck? Or the fucking unequal and sexist way, society treats girls, and women?”

FCKH8's producer, Mike Kon, explains the video's objective this way: “Some adults may be uncomfortable with how these little girls are using a bad word for a good cause. It is shocking what they are saying, but the real shock is that women are still paid less than men for the same work in 2014, not the use of the F-word. The big statistic that 1 out of 5 women are sexually assaulted or raped is something society seems to find less offensive than a little four letter word and we love how these girls draw attention to that imbalance.” 

As a creative person, a writer and a marketing executive, I love pretty much everything about this video. The script, the casting, the costumes, the concept. 

What I think I love the most, however, is the idea that for a younger generation of girls (and boys too, I hope), the current state of gender affairs warrants an enormous "WTF?!?"

As the video says, “Instead of washing these girls’ mouths out with soap, maybe society needs to clean up its act.”

"Offensive?" Nah, I'd say "Effective." Fucking effective.

If you enjoyed this post, I invite you to order a copy of Lovin' the Alien at www.lovinthealien.com.