Saturday, August 31, 2013
Much Ado About Miley
Right now, Google "Miley Cyrus VMA."
Nearly a week after her ... um ... controversial performance at the MTV Video Music Awards, the search pulls up 389,000,000 results.
That's right. 389 m-i-l-l-i-o-n.
I've been writing Lovin' the Alien for about two and a half years now. And, if I do say so myself, I have the greatest fans in the world. Not only do they read and share and "like" my posts, but often they suggest new topics for me.
"Did you hear about the push-up bras at Abercrombie Kids?"
"What are you going to say about Corey Monteith?"
This past week, the requests have had a common theme: one former Hannah Montana.
"When are you going to write about Miley Cyrus?"
" 'Can't wait to read what you have to say about Miley Cyrus!"
"What do you think about Miley Cyrus?"
Here's exactly what I think ...
All the media brouhaha surrounding Miley Cyrus is much ado about nothing. Why do I say so? Let me count the ways ...
1. This is nothing new.
MTV's raison d'être is to push the proverbial envelope. They've been doing it since I was in college. (And we all know how long ago that was.) A provocative sexy performance on the MTV Video Music Awards? Ooooh, stop the press! Call the cops!
Puh-lease! It's MTV. What do you expect?
2. Ms. Cyrus is not a child.
The girl may have been in the public eye since she was a tiny tween, but she's technically a grown-up now. If she wants to get up in front of bazillions of viewers and shake, shake (SHAKE!) her booty, that's her business.
Do I think she's made consistently good decisions? Well, no. But we don't want her to stay a child star forever, do we? I mean, haven't you seen Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?
3. It wasn't even that sexy.
For heaven's sake, she was wearing granny panties!
And, if it was too sexy for your youngsters, why are you letting them watch MTV?
4. All of this attention is just drawing more attention.
In a way, I have to laugh. They say 'the only bad publicity is no publicity.' So basically every person who raises his or her voice about this sorry spectacle is just raising the volume. To all of you outraged parents ... have we learned nothing from raising toddlers? If a two-year old is acting insane and you give them more attention, what will they do? Continue to act insane.
The best way to stop this particular insanity would have been to ignore it.
5. The act wasn't even good.
Let's face it, if there's any reason to criticize Miley, it's because her little performance was ridiculous. It began like a Build-A-Bear Workshop on crack. And what was with the tongue? I thought her father was Billy Ray Cyrus, not Gene Simmons.
As for those "shocking" moves? Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't a skinny white girl twerking kind of defeat the purpose?
The entire thing was cringe-worthy. But maybe that isn't the point.
Right about now, Ms. Cyrus is cringing all the way to the bank. This may prove to be a most brilliant career move.
And, if Miley does regret it, she needn't worry. Something equally stupid will take this story's place before too long.
Because if there's one thing we can count on even more than our society's obsession with the lewd ...
it's our collective attention deficit disorder.