Dangerous or Dumbest — You Decide

Stupid teen pranks are older than I am — and they most certainly pre-date my daughter. Setting cherry bombs, toilet papering neighborhoods, crowding into telephone booths (or Volkswagens), even drag-racing seems downright nostalgic now. "Oh, those krazy kids!" It's not that the stunts weren't dangerous — watch Rebel Without A Cause, if you have any questions — it's just hard to take them so seriously when they're coupled with poodle skirts and bobby socks and ducktail hair. 

Pubescent pranks are probably here to stay. But, there's something about living in the technology age with social media and digital cameras and instant access to all things (and everyone, everywhere, all the time) that has made teenagers even more eager to do stupid things than their adolescent ancestors. Not just teens either, full-fledged grownups are guilty too.

For example, a few years ago when my daughter was still in middle school, I wrote about "The Cinnamon Challenge." This completely dumb activity involved eating a spoonful of cinnamon and then choking. ('Sounds like a fun time to me. Um ... NOT.) Apparently, videos posted of participants spewing powdered cinnamon out of every facial feature were hi-lar-i-ous and earned hundreds and thousands and millions and bazillions of hits. 

Doctors warned that the game carried a real threat of asphyxiation. But, since when does that deter a determined teen?

Other trends of recent times include "Planking," lying rigid on a surface that wouldn't normally be meant to hold a recumbent human body. Stupid? Yes. Safe? Not always. A teenager actually fell to his death after planking on a terrace railing. (See earlier response "Yes" to earlier question "Stupid?")

Then there are the idiotic and extremely dangerous pranks like "The Choking Game" and "Eye-Balling Vodka." Yes, that's as disgusting as it sounds. Yet somehow not quite as disgusting as some of the other ways teens choose to get drunk while avoiding calories and that tell-tale booze smell. (I'll spare you the details, but if you're curious, watch the infamous swim party episode (1:7) of Girlfriends Guide to Divorce.) 

The latest trend to pop up on my radar (which means it's probably been out there for weeks, months or even years) has got to be one of the dumbest things I've ever seen. It's called "The Condom Challenge," and is a young adult mashup of a traditional water balloon fight and "The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge," with some prurient titillation thrown in for good measure. The new gag is best pulled off with two people. One fills a condom with water and dangles it over the other person's head, then lets it go. The condom temporarily covers the recipient's entire head in a latex bubble before bursting and soaking her. 

What a great way to spend one's time!

But wait, there can be complications. The latex might not break; the prank's victim might fall and hit her head; she might pass out or suffocate or pass out and then suffocate.

And, I've left out the most important piece of the prank puzzle. As any self-respecting millennial will tell you, the entire experience must be recorded for posterity and posted, here, there and everwhere.

Congratulations. Now, you know about "The Condom Challenge." I guess it could be worse. I mean, no one's died yet. 

But, they might.

Die of embarrassment that is.

If you enjoyed this post, I invite you to order a copy of my book  Lovin' the Alien.    

Challenging

Amelia Earhart (before she disappeared, of course) said "Women, like men, should try to do the impossible. And when they fail, their failure should be a challenge to others."

Kurt Cobain, on the other hand, suggested that "The duty of youth is to challenge corruption."

As the mother of a teenager, I can't help but think that the duty of youth is to challenge their parents.

This has been a challenging year for us. In terms of schoolwork, starting the college search, managing time (not to mention managing friendships). Some weeks, we're fine. Some weekends (like this past one), I stand and shake my head, marveling that we somehow got it all done. An AP test, the horse's birthday, prom, a concert, an anniversary, two sets of visitors, and Mother's Day. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

Life with a seventeen-year-old can be a challenge no matter how you look at it.

Then again, there are challenges that we create and/or choose to participate in. Some are good. Some are ... well ... not so much.

The "ALS Ice Bucket Challenge," for example. This was started to raise awareness and donations for amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, often called Lou Gehrig's Disease. There's some debate about its origins, but starting in the summer of 2014, it really took off. Using viral social media, people posted videos of themselves dumping ice water on their heads, challenging specific friends and family to do the same within 24 hours. Since last July 29th, The ALS Association has received $115 million in donations.

I think we can agree that this was a good challenge.

The "Cinnamon Challenge," on the other hand, is not good. There are plenty of other adjectives I would use: stupid, foolish, dangerous, downright idiotic immediately come to mind.

And now, we have the "Kylie Jenner Lip Challenge." In order to emulate the pouty lips of Kardashian half-sister and model-of-the-moment Kylie, participants artificially plump up their lips using shot glasses and suction. Then, because we're living in a digital world as well as a material one, they post selfies and videos.

All in good fun, right? Wrong.

Kylie herself tweeted, "I'm not here to try & encourage people/young girls to look like me or to think this is the way they should look." Of course, she followed up with
"I want to encourage people like me to be YOURSELF and not be afraid to experiment with your look." 

Well, the experiments have landed some girls in the emergency room. Cuts, bruising, broken blood vessels and even nerve damage all to look like a reality star who has very little reality about her. Kylie, who originally denied any cosmetic intervention, admitted that she had "temporary lip fillers."

I would tell Kylie — and any teen girl who'll listen — that there's a big difference between experimenting and self-mutilation. 

Then again, it would be quite a challenge to get anyone in that demographic to listen.

If you enjoyed this post, I invite you to order a copy of my book  Lovin' the Alien at www.lovinthealien.com.  

Just When You Thought It Was Safe ...

My daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was six months old. Even after that though, I would wake up multiple times to check on her. I'd tiptoe into her room, bend over her crib, lightly kiss her tiny forehead and whisper "I love you." But, most importantly, I would check to make sure she was still breathing.

(Remember crazy mother Shirley MacLaine in Terms of Endearment? Yep, that was me.)

When you're a relatively new mommy — and a fairly stressed out individual anyway — there are so many things to worry about. Crib death, electrical outlets, choking on grapes or Goldfish crackers. The world is very big when you're suddenly in charge of someone very small.

Having a baby is one of the bravest acts you will ever commit. Truly, you have to do your best every day just to "keep calm and carry on."

Soon enough, my daughter learned where and when to cross a street. How to climb up and down stairs. Not to consume cleaning supplies. Not to touch a hot burner. Of course, I still worried about her, but the constant, exhausting vigilance relaxed a bit. I realize that there are grownup dangers waiting: unprotected sex, alcoholism, drugs both legal and illegal. But, we've already started talking about them (as have years of Health Ed teachers) and we'll navigate those terrifying waters when we get there.

What's on my mind now are stupid things. I don't mean it's stupid for me to worry. I mean that teenagers do some really, really (really, really) stupid things.

Teens drink über caffeinated drinks like Red Bull and Monster and 5-Hour Energy. These are not difficult to get; in fact, they were giving out samples at the base lodge the last time my daughter skied. They can help you stay up late to study or finish homework. And, they do indeed boost energy. But, they do so at the risk of the user's health. In fact, more than one teenager has died recently as a direct result of drinking too much of this so-called "lifestyle in a can."

Teens find new, but certainly not improved, ways to use everyday items. Did you know there are more than 1,000 seemingly harmless household supplies that can be inhaled? From magic markers to nail polish remover to aerosol whipped cream. And, along with the rush a teen may experience when he or she sniffs correction fluid, comes a host of toxic chemicals that can cause serious harm.

The latest stupid thing is called, "The Cinnamon Challenge." In fairness, there are plenty of adults participating in this stupidity, but, my worry is teens and tweens. In case you haven't heard about it, the trick is to ingest a heaping tablespoon of ground cinnamon in under a minute. This is virtually impossible without water and the person attempting it ends up spewing the spice all over themselves in an eruption of coughing. Apparently this is very funny to witness. And, if you go on YouTube, you'll find nearly 35,000 videos of it. One particular challenger, GloZell, has over 12 million hits.

Here are the perceived consequences of taking the Cinnamon Challenge:

• You'll cough and you'll have to drink a lot of water asap

• You'll crack your friends up

• You'll get lots of hits on your Facebook page

Here are the actual potential consequences:

• You'll choke and before you reach the water, you'll die

• You'll vomit

• You'll black out, get pneumonia and wind up in the ICU

If your middle schooler is anything like mine, she or he will demand to know, "So, who died?" No one that I know of, yet. But, several students all over the country have been hospitalized. The same characteristic of cinnamon that makes people practically explode when they try to swallow it makes it particularly dangerous if it's inhaled. It doesn't dissolve once it's in your body, so it can do permanent damage to your lungs.

Cinnamon-raisin bagels? Okay. The Cinnamon Challenge? Not okay. Really not okay.

Teens and tweens are adrenaline junkies. Their need for speed is through the roof while their impulse-control is pretty much zero. They don't think about consequences. They don't worry about the future. (Sometimes, I think they don't worry, period.)

That's why we have to worry for them.

"Lions and tiger and bears and now, cinnamon, oh my!"