Challenging

Amelia Earhart (before she disappeared, of course) said "Women, like men, should try to do the impossible. And when they fail, their failure should be a challenge to others."

Kurt Cobain, on the other hand, suggested that "The duty of youth is to challenge corruption."

As the mother of a teenager, I can't help but think that the duty of youth is to challenge their parents.

This has been a challenging year for us. In terms of schoolwork, starting the college search, managing time (not to mention managing friendships). Some weeks, we're fine. Some weekends (like this past one), I stand and shake my head, marveling that we somehow got it all done. An AP test, the horse's birthday, prom, a concert, an anniversary, two sets of visitors, and Mother's Day. Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!

Life with a seventeen-year-old can be a challenge no matter how you look at it.

Then again, there are challenges that we create and/or choose to participate in. Some are good. Some are ... well ... not so much.

The "ALS Ice Bucket Challenge," for example. This was started to raise awareness and donations for amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, often called Lou Gehrig's Disease. There's some debate about its origins, but starting in the summer of 2014, it really took off. Using viral social media, people posted videos of themselves dumping ice water on their heads, challenging specific friends and family to do the same within 24 hours. Since last July 29th, The ALS Association has received $115 million in donations.

I think we can agree that this was a good challenge.

The "Cinnamon Challenge," on the other hand, is not good. There are plenty of other adjectives I would use: stupid, foolish, dangerous, downright idiotic immediately come to mind.

And now, we have the "Kylie Jenner Lip Challenge." In order to emulate the pouty lips of Kardashian half-sister and model-of-the-moment Kylie, participants artificially plump up their lips using shot glasses and suction. Then, because we're living in a digital world as well as a material one, they post selfies and videos.

All in good fun, right? Wrong.

Kylie herself tweeted, "I'm not here to try & encourage people/young girls to look like me or to think this is the way they should look." Of course, she followed up with
"I want to encourage people like me to be YOURSELF and not be afraid to experiment with your look." 

Well, the experiments have landed some girls in the emergency room. Cuts, bruising, broken blood vessels and even nerve damage all to look like a reality star who has very little reality about her. Kylie, who originally denied any cosmetic intervention, admitted that she had "temporary lip fillers."

I would tell Kylie — and any teen girl who'll listen — that there's a big difference between experimenting and self-mutilation. 

Then again, it would be quite a challenge to get anyone in that demographic to listen.

If you enjoyed this post, I invite you to order a copy of my book  Lovin' the Alien at www.lovinthealien.com.  

We Interrupt This Blog For A Serious Message

I really enjoy blogging about being the mother of a teen. And hopefully, most of my readers (nearly 108,000 views at last count!) find most of my posts funny. Or familiar. Or funny and familiar.

But, sometimes I get messages from other mothers looking for more serious content. Like online safety, risky behavior and dangerous teen trends. 

With this in mind (and with their permission), I'm excerpting and reposting a story that recently ran on Your Teen. 

Your Teen Magazine asked Dr. Erica Michiels, a pediatric emergency medicine specialist, to list the most dangerous teen behavior she's seeing. Here's what she had to say:

Do drugs still bring a lot of teenagers into the emergency room?
Drug use has changed a lot, and it’s hard for parents to keep on top of the different drugs that teenagers are using. We see a lot of teenagers who are abusing prescription drugs. This is huge and on the rise. Parents need to know that the place where most teenagers are getting these drugs is their own medicine cabinets. They are not necessarily getting them from a drug dealer. They are stealing them from their friends, parents, grandparents, and neighbors. The majority of what we see is not the illegal “street” drugs. It’s prescription drugs being taken incorrectly or the designer drugs.

Which prescription drugs specifically?
Any prescription pain medication. They often have names like Vicodin, Percocet or Norco. Also, muscle relaxers, like Soma or Flexeril. And then unfortunately some things you don’t think of, like prescription cough syrups that contain narcotics. Some teenagers are also mixing over-the-counter cough-and-cold medications, which they drink alone or with prescription narcotics. That goes by the name of Purple Drank or Sizzurp.

What do you mean by designer drugs?

These are synthetic drugs that are not necessarily even illegal. You can buy them at head shops, truck stops, even online. But they are not less dangerous than a lot of the illegal drugs out there. A great example is K2 Spice, which is a synthetic form of marijuana. Bath salts — a synthetic stimulant — is another example.

How about alcohol?
There are now vaporized alcohol products, which is a dried form of alcohol that teenagers are sniffing. Lately, we’ve also seen teenagers soaking tampons in alcohol and then inserting them vaginally or rectally. That way, the alcohol absorbs into the body readily, but there is no odor of alcohol. So, it’s another way to sneak those substances.

And the illegal “street” drugs?
Pot is still a huge one, and surprisingly easy to get ahold of. Heroin is also making a comeback. Some of that has to do with the crackdown on prescription drugs. It’s harder to get prescription drugs and heroin — which has the same active ingredient as some prescription drugs — is cheap right now.

What warning signs should parents watch for when it comes to teen risk taking?
I recommend that if you are seeing changes in your teenager’s behavior, including changes in hygiene, you take a closer look. Say your teenager has always paid attention to how he dresses and now he’s not. Well, you need to check in. Talk to your teenager’s teachers about how he or she is doing at school. Talk to the counselor. If you are suspicious, bring your teenager in for a talk with the pediatrician. Try to avoid just calling your teenager out, keep communication open and supportive so they will talk to you.

You can read the entire interview here.

Teen Trends: Stupid Is as Stupid Does

Most days, I pick up my teenage daughter from high school. I'm fortunate (she's fortunate) because I run my ad agency from a home office and can slip out for twenty minutes without too much trouble. Her school is 1.5 miles away and last September's grand plan of a nice fitness walk every afternoon didn't last very long.

Anyway, the most convenient place to collect my little scholar is behind the school in the parking lot of our town's post office. There's a path that leads uphill to the football field and another that heads down into a wooded area.

That's where "the stoners" hang out.

It's strange to see kids (young adults really but some I've known since preschool) pair off and slip away together. Are they smoking dope? Drinking? Making out? Worse? I'm tempted to follow them. I'm tempted to call their mothers. I stay in the car.

My own daughter doesn't have time (or, thank goodness) the inclination to participate in this particular after-school program. I've made it very clear that her riding and lessons and shows and out-of-state horsemanship clinics are dependent on schoolwork getting done and good grades getting got. This is not negotiable. I'm very lucky that she understands and agrees. I'm also lucky because her friends, although mind-bogglingly silly at times, don't seem to be that type of party people. (I know I could be wrong, but in truth, I trust her. And — knock wood — we haven't had any problems. Yet.)

So many teens do so many stupid things. As a hopelessly out-of-touch middle-aged mom, I can't even keep up. In fact, when I try to stay on top of the latest trends of teenage self-destruction, I give myself a headache. 

Last year, I wrote about "The Cinnamon Challenge." Here are just a handful of new ideas to worry about:

"Planking" — Kids lie horizontally, holding their bodies stiff like a board (or, more aptly, a plank), balancing on random objects. Counters, bannisters, shopping carts. Pictures are taken and posted; the aim is to get lots of hits and shares and likes and comments. Sounds fairly harmless, but a teenager actually died when he planked and then fell off a seven-story balcony rail.

At this point: full disclosure. My daughter has been known to plank but not from death-defying heights. Phew.

"Eyeballing Vodka" — Okay, before I describe this, can I just say "Eeww!" Teens actually pour shots of vodka into their eyes. The blood vessels of the eyeball quickly absorb the alcohol and the result is immediate intoxication. The upside? It's easy to hide because there's no tell-tale booze breath. The downside? Oh, nothing to worry about ... just permanent corneal damage and blindness.

People, c'mon!

"The Choking Game" — Y'know that rush you get after you've hung yourself and your friend has cut you down and revived you? No? Me neither. (WTF???) Whether kids play the choking game because of thrill-seeking or boredom or peer pressure, it's very real and an estimated 500-1,000 teens will die doing so. Oh, and that rush I mentioned? It's brain cells dying from a lack of oxygen.

One might argue that there may have been a distinct lack of brain cells to begin with. But, that wouldn't be consolation for the families of those kids.

The most recent trend that my own daughter introduced me to (as in told me about, not participated in, thank you God) is called "Smoking Alcohol." The name says it all and it's all over YouTube. Kids take alcohol (any sort works) and pump air into it then inhale the fumes. The alcohol vapor goes directly to the brain; the effect is instantaneous. Everything the body does to absorb and process (or expel) the alcohol you drink is bypassed. So, alcohol poisoning, prevalent enough in teenagers who imbibe the old-fashioned way, occurs dangerously fast.

Thinking about all of this is difficult; talking about it with our teens is absolutely critical.

Yesterday afternoon, my daughter took her final freshman final. Afterwards, I asked her what she wanted to do to celebrate. Go somewhere, do something? What was she craving more than anything else? 

Her answer: "Chocolate chip cookie dough."

Amen, sister.